The Work/Life Balancing Act

Work/Life Balancing Act Relocates

2008-06-19T11:43:00.004-04:00

As of today, my work/life balancing act blog will relocate to Typepad. Please update your bookmark and RSS feeds. The new address is http://miamiherald.typepad.com/worklifebalancingact/

Will Dad Ever Do His Share?

2008-06-18T11:33:00.003-04:00

In a provocative article in The New York Times, writer Lisa Belkin delves into the concept of equal parenting with When Mom and Dad Share It All.

Belkin points out that experts say any way you measure it, women do about twice as much around the house as men. But there is a movement underway toward marriages where spouses are each equally likely to plan birthday parties or put the children to bed or be the parent who goes along on the school field trip.

As Kathy Lingle points out on her work-life blog some call it “shared care”, while Belkin prefers the phrase “equally shared parenting,” but they are both talking about spouses who vigorously attempt to split the tasks of parenting (and housekeeping) precisely down the middle. Each partner doing exactly half of everything.

Sometimes, though, when a man earns more, he feels he should do less at home. As Lingle notes, gender does seem to exert an inequitable tug on the division of labor at home. Belkin quotes Francine M. Deutsch, a psychology professor at Mount Holyoke and the author of Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works as saying "the nuances of relationships are complicated, built on foundations that even we may not see until we try to alter them. If your partner’s ambition is what attracted you in the first place and if his/her decision to dilute that ambition would make you think less of him/her, then this is not for you."

But what happens when you take gender differences out of the equation. To do that, Belkin looked at same-sex couples. She discovered, "While straight parents get into the blame game about who is shirking responsibility, lesbian moms bicker about not getting enough time with the kids.'' Belkin discovered lesbian couples have a more equal division of housework and parenting than their heterosexual counterparts.

What do you think of equally shared parenting? Would it work in your home?

Do working dads worry about kids while at work?

2008-06-15T21:00:00.003-04:00

A Father's Day article in CareerBuilder caught my attention both for the tips it gave and the assumptions it made.

"Men who place a high priority on family often need to be thick-skinned about it,' said Pam Ragland, owner of Aiming Higher Quantum Success Co., a personal and business consulting firm. She says men tell her they feel like a pansy if they end up dong things women traditionally do like chauffeuring children to activities.

Next, Ragland gave this tip: "Allow yourself to focus only on whatever you are doing during that time block. No worrying about kids when you are working, no worrying about work when you are with your kids. "

I read that and my first thought was that I really doubt most married men worry about their kids when they are working. I do believe that fathers worry about work when they are with their kids. But let's be real, most fathers don't worry about the logistics of their family life during the work day like mothers do. And, even if they they do on occasion, I'm sure it's not on a regular basis.

My husband disagrees with my assessment. He says men worry about family during the work day -- but more from the perspective of supporting the family and money issues. This may be true, but still I doubt it consumes much of their time during the work day.

Do you agree with either of us? Do you think dads worry about their kids when they are at work?

Fathers weigh in on work/life role models

2008-06-11T09:56:00.011-04:00

The majority of fathers told researchers they would give up pay for work/life balance. So, why don't they just do it? Anchor Cynthia Demos asked me that question on my TV appearance this morning. My answer: fear. A lot of men don't want to rock the boat at work.

I've been thinking a lot about a comment by Rebeldad blogger Brian Reid. He's a proponent of working fathers using the family-friendly policies that exist at their companies: "There's a gulf between corporate policy and what men feel they can take advantage of. Leading by example sounds uninspiring but breaking down traditional roles has an impact."

Reid took paternity leave seven years ago, and believes he was the first at his company to do it. Unfortunately, men still hesitate to do what Reid did. But I do think some men are taking the lead. My Miami Herald article today gives some examples. The article also is posted on MomsMiami.com.

In Miami, senior lawyer Bill Walker, knows his viewpoint isn't popular with his partners at White & Case. Yet, he still tries to get young fathers at his law firm to find new role models. "There are plenty of young dads here until all hours and weekends. They are modeling the money behavior of the guy down the hall instead of other guy down the hall who is not working as hard, maybe not making as much money, but spending more time with his kids."

Walker gave me an honest look at why an Adecco survey found more than half of men think their companies should do more to help with work/life balance. "We interviewed someone yesterday, an experienced lawyer, looking to relocate. For about five minutes we discussed whether coming here allow would allow him to maintain, work/home balance he wants to achieve. I told him I don't know. "

Do you think working fathers are doing enough to be role models for others? Is the fear of using work/life programs justified?

Dads think their company should do more

2008-06-10T19:14:00.002-04:00

The latest Adecco USA Workplace Insights survey commissioned in celebration of Father's Day found that working fathers have a lot in common with working mothers when it comes to managing work/life priorities. "The perception that the work/life balancing act is mainly a female struggle no longer holds up in today's workplace," says Rich Thompson, Vice President of Training & Development for Adecco Group North America.

Adecco's Father Day survey found:
* 81 percent of dads are very likely to work late or respond to emails after hours.
* 64 percent say it's more challenging to manage family life than career.
* 55 percent think companies should do more to help them achieve work/life balance.

Here's another interesting daddy fact: The economy is taking its toll on Father's Day spending. Average per capita spending on dad is expected to drop to $27.60 in 2008 from $28.97 last year, IBISWorld predicted.

Taking vacations increases your value

2008-06-09T09:53:00.003-04:00

Is it possible that taking lots of vacation time can increase the value of your company? Are you one of the people who go through the angst of wanting to take vacation while secretly worried about what you will miss when you are gone --- will work pile up, will clients find other vendors, will the boss discover he doesn't need you?

To be more valued, Norm Brodsky, author of Inc. Magazine's Street Smarts column, insists you take a vacation -- but do it the right way! Here are the mistakes he says people make: Some think they are taking a vacation but they just moved their offices outdoors because they spend most of their vacation doing work. The other groups takes a vacation but really wants a lifestyle change and because they haven't done the planning they end up alienating customers and employees.

He says this is the key: Brodsky timed his vacations to coincide with the periods when business was slow. He says it made him smarter when he returned: "I could see issues and problems with a clarity I hadn't had before." (If you are an employee, you may want to vocalize your new clarity to your boss!)

To me, the most right-on sentence in Brodsky's article is this one: "Though people like to portray themselves as making sacrifices for their business, they aren't, in fact, helping anybody by not taking vacations."

Brodsky came up with the long-term goal of eventually taking off four months every year. "I know a lot of businesspeople my age who would like to be able to do that. The problem is, most haven't laid the groundwork." Brodsky laid the groundwork over seven years. He gradually increased his time away from the business and trained others to do his jobs. The upside: when he was at the company, he could focus on making contributions that would enhance the business, yet he could leave knowing his customers would never notice his absence.

Last year, when Brodsky went to sell a majority stake in his business, the company's ability to run without him increased the value. "I got a better price for my stock in addition to a lot of free time. That's something you might bear in mind the next time you're trying to decide whether to take a vacation."

Meanwhile, this summer a growing number are planning to bring the office with them on vacation, according to CareerBuilder.

Do you plan to take a vacation this summer? Are you planning to work on your vacation? Could you imagine yourself taking as much as four months off?

Dads who cut back work help at home

2008-06-05T11:00:00.003-04:00

I'm enjoying a blog that addresses work life balance from a father's perspective. Check it out. In his latest posting, Blogger s reveals: Dads who cut back on their hours to help at home are not just sitting on their couches watching ESPN's Sportscenter.

The research says: Part-time worker dads do more housework (about an hour more) than full-time worker dads, and about 40 minutes more childcare. We know about these changes thanks to forthcoming work from Liana Sayer (Ohio State University) and Sanjiv Gupta (University of Massachusetts at Amherst) in which they analyzed the 2003-2005 ATUS.

Researchers also discovered that mothers do more paid work—14 hours more—than they did 40 years ago. They do less housework—exactly 14 hours fewer—too. But they do 4 hours more of childcare than in the past. But it looks like those girl gab sessions in Sex & The City are more fictitious than we care to admit: bonding with spouse, kin, and friends is being sacrificed by working moms for time with children, research shows.

-- Council on Contemporary Families, How Americans Use Their Time: Got Data?

Woman CEO uses a plan for work-life balance

2008-06-03T20:20:00.004-04:00

How does a woman lead a law firm during tough economic times, raise a family, mentor other lawyers, participate in professional organizations and have a sound marriage?

Rhea Law, CEO of Fowler White Boggs Banker in Tampa has figured out a system. Every Thanksgiving she and her husband, owner of a telecommunications business, sit down and make a plan for what they want to accomplish. "We take time to be thankful for our blessings then talk about coming year.'' They include everything from non-profit work to house projects to business goals to vacations. She says the plan only works if you write everything down.

"Family and friends can be helpful in causing you to succeed if they know what you are trying to do," Law says. Even if she and her husband don't agree with everything on each other's list, they agree to go with the plan.

The couple set aside time quarterly to go through the list and find things they forgot about. Then, they make a time frame to get those things done instead of harboring resentment. The couple has been using this system for their entire 23-year marriage and included their children in the planning when they were still at home. "It's a basis for communication and managing expectations."

I asked Law if she has achieved work/life balance with her system. She said: "Balance assumes equalness. There is no equalness. I think I have achieved alignment with my family."

Law must be doing something right. Once again, her firm has landed on the list of top women-led businesses in Florida compiled from a survey by The Commonwealth Insitute (TCI). The full article on the survey is in today's Miami Herald. I found it interesting that the majority of women business leader said they have achieved work/life balance. Still, about 38 percent said they spend more time working than they would like to.

Which category do you fall in? Are you spending more time at work than you would like to, or have you found balance? Do you think Law's system for balance could work for you?

End of the school year stuff, too much?

2008-06-02T10:30:00.003-04:00

Holy cow, I'm exhausted! As we get down to the end-of-the-school year the celebrations are coming fast and furious. Can you find time to always be there?

Here's why you might feel swamped: Because of a rising interest in rituals, ceremonies have proliferated, marking nearly every life transition—from preschool to college graduation—and making each the focus of festivities. As a result, families face a long list of must-attends—including rehearsals, class parties, tournaments, recitals, picnics and banquets—all in the few weeks leading up to summer, making this time of year the busiest season of all for many households, notes Sue Shellenbarger of The Wall Street Journal.

Fortunately, I have some flexibility at my job to be able to come in a little late or leave a little early when I have a kid activity. Sadly, many parents do not. But with so many end-of-the-year kid commitments, I keep joking that I’m going to have to quit my day job to keep up.

Still, there are some activities I just haven't been able to be at. Many of us working parents beat ourselves up for not getting to all of these events. It’s especially awful when our kids really want us there, points out mommy blogger Wendy Sachs.

Remember, this is the time to use your goodwill bank -- call in those favors you've done for other parents at work or at school to get some help with the driving. And, if you have to leave early during a child's class party or recital, closely watch the part you do see. If you can't stay for the entire recital make sure you speak to your child about the portion you observed: something like, "I enjoyed watching because you were concentrating so well.''

How are you handling the end-of-year madness? Are you find your workplace gives you the flexibility to attend school activities? If not, are you resentful?

Best Companies for Multicultural Women

2008-05-28T09:41:00.003-04:00

The list is in! Working Mother Magazine released its 100 Best Companies for Multicultural Women. The odd thing is there is not one Florida company on the list. NOT ONE. That strikes me as insane consider our multicultural population and how embracing companies in our area have been.

Here is the criteria: hiring, pay and promotion of multicultural employees. This year, the magazine gave the most weight to questions involving the representation, recruitment and retention of women of color. I'm not sure whether the magazine considered Hispanic representation but I plan to ask the editor.

The report says unlike their Boomer parents, Gen Y's tend to look beyond skin color for their identity, choosing instead to define themselves by age or lifestyle. This shift is causing companies to rethink their diversity strategies so that they resonate with a group that's eager for speedy advancement. Do you agree? Should your company be on the list?

Can you relate to Carrie Bradshaw?

2008-05-27T16:40:00.005-04:00

What are you doing May 30th? That's the big topic at work today because May 30th is the opening date for the Sex & the City movie. Productivity must be sagging in offices nationwide as women discuss when and where they're going to see it on the big screen.

One of my girlfriends who lived for a while as a single woman in NYC is taking the day off work on Friday to see the movie. I may join her. I’m sure we won’t be alone in the theater. All day at my office, the girls are buzzing about getting a group together to go see it.

Why does this foursome inspire so much female camaraderie? Asks blogger Leslie Morgan Steiner. The New York Times reports in This One Goes Out to the Ladies -- and Their Friends that mobs of women across the country have made elaborate opening night plans (including flying en masse to Manhattan to see the movie on location).

I’ve always admired the way the show depicts working women. Indeed, I think Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda embody a bit of all of us. These four women are real to me. I can relate to Miranda’s crazy work life as a law partner, Carrie’s job as a columnist, Charlotte’s struggle with infertility and Samantha’s glamorous and sometimes lonely life as a PR executive. Their struggles with meeting Mr. Right or Mr. Big are shared by so many of my gal pals who tell me that dating today as a self-sufficient, income-producing woman is challenging.

Even though, like most women watching the show, I don't live in New York or wear the same fashions, these women and their career, child-rearing and love-life dilemmas are real to me and most of the women I know. The girls have financial troubles like we do, laugh and cry like we do, fight with each other like we do, and most importantly make mistakes and go on. As Steiner notes, “They make everyday female problems -- working motherhood, infertility, deplorable romantic decisions, too-demanding jobs, wrinkles, mortgages, lousy boyfriends, too many shoes -- look beautiful, funny, and bearable.”

To me, a bonus of the show was the insight men gained from watching it. Women, have you ever had a discussion with a man about his take on Carrie breaking up with Aidan, Miranda giving Steve the cold shoulder or Samantha hooking up with a young hunk? The show certainly sparked some discussion in my house.

What do the Sex & the City ladies say about your life? Are you going to opening night? Would your consider going with your spouse or boyfriend or is this strictly a girls night out?

Is a step parent a working parent?

2008-05-22T12:37:00.006-04:00

I just read a blog entry that takes a perspective I never considered. It asks, "Does being a step parent make you any less of a working parent?"

Blogger Lylah Alphonse writes: Well, when you’re parenting, step or not, you’re a parent. That’s really all there is to it.Unfortunately, I've had bosses and co-workers who didn't understand that at all. As a step mom, it wasn’t that I was expected to work overtime as much as it was that I was expected to want to work overtime, because I wasn’t “really a parent.” “You can stay late tonight, right?” my then-boss once asked as he got ready to duck out early (to go camping). “It’s not like you’re rushing home to see your step kids, right?”
Um… yes, yes I am. So, actually, no, I can’t stay late.

A co-worker of mine married a man with a young child. She's going through all the anxiety a working parent does, especially because her husband travels for work. She frets over being asked to work late which would leave her step son, a middle schooler, home alone too long.

Of course, custody arrangements differ and everyone's situation is different. As Elizabeth in her Career and Kids blog notes: Your schedule may be different from someone else’s if the kids aren’t with you full time, but the responsibilities are still there.

Do you think step parents should be given the same work/life considerations as working parents? Have you ever had a boss who doesn't recognize your home demands as a step parent?

Divorcing your business partner

2008-05-21T09:49:00.002-04:00

In my Miami Herald column today, I wrote about business break ups. The idea came to me when I watched the emotional turmoil one of my close friends went through. My friend felt she was doing most of the work to keep the clothing store afloat, yet her partner was sharing equally in the profits. Her partner happened to be a close friend. Working moms, she assumed they would split the duties and both have work/life balance.

I have never had a business partner, but I've thought about it. And like most people, I likely would go into business with a friend. Until now, I had never thought through what would happen when and if things go bad. My friend and her partner had been gal pals when they started the business together. They had kids the same ages. Their husbands were buddies. So, the break up took a huge emotional toll on both families. They no longer speak to each other.

Attorney Greg Ward of WardKim had some of the best advice on the topic. He says always have a well thought out partnership agreement when you start the business. If it's too late and you find yourself in the middle of a dispute, try HARD to keep communication open. When partners stop talking, that's usually the beginning of the end.

I found an interesting article on the American Bar Association site that says, "Curiously, many business divorces occur once the business has become successful, the principals are taking home real money and there is significant equity in the business. With success come the difficult, acrimonious issues and decisions that the partners failed to face early on or dealt with only partially.'' Who knew?

Have you endured an emotionally wrenching business divorce? Has it affected your personal life? What would you do differently the next time around?

Does a messy desk matter?

2008-05-19T10:49:00.003-04:00

It's Monday morning and I'm at my desk. It's not cluttered but it's not completely clean and organized either. I have worked hard to overcome my natural tendency of allowing piles of paper to cover my desk. I want work/life balance and to me, that means NOT trying to handle too many tasks at once, cluttering my mind and desk.

But I look around me and most of my co-workers can barely see their desks. I wonder how some of them get anything done. So, it intrigued me when I saw a manager's query on the Monster blog. After asking an employee to clean up his desk several times, he wrote: "Is it something I should just let be and assume the employee works better in a controlled chaos environment? Or should I step up my requests and not be so nice about it? I'm not sure how much it is my place to tell someone to clean up their work area if it really doesn't bother anyone but me."

Does a messy desk matter? Monster says people respond in two ways:

As long as the employee’s work is getting done, it doesn’t matter how messy his desk is or isn’t.

A messy desk is no doubt a sign of a cluttered mind! Continue to insist that the employee clean up his workspace.

Most of the highly successful business people I interview buy into the clean desk theory. They say clutterfree desks are critical to being productive and having work/life balance. They only want items on their desk that relate to the task they are doing at that moment. But I do have many colleagues who are organized and on top of all their projects, in spite of their desk’s appearances to the contrary.

I say, each person has their own way of working and living, as long as they get the job done who cares what their desk looks like (as long as it's not bug infested). What's your take? And, when should the line be drawn, if ever?

Below: One mom's entry into a messy desk contest. To read her blog, click here.

What's overtime?

2008-05-15T12:31:00.003-04:00

In today's 24/7 business world, what's overtime?

Is it being on call after hours? Is it being expected to respond to late night emails? Is it getting work thrown at us close to 5 p.m when we can't possibly finish it in our 8-hour day? Already we are hearing discussion about whether BlackBerrys give rise to overtime pay.

Yesterday, this question of overtime came up a few times during the day at an Employment Law Seminar sponsored by Stearns & Weaver in Miami. Clearly, there's a movement afoot to squeeze more out of employees -- without paying them more.

When talking about the top 10 things supervisors do to drive you insane this one made the list: Tell subordinates "I do not want to see you working overtime, but this job better get done tomorrow and you figure out how to do it."

How many of you have heard that? I have my hand up.

For those that still do get overtime, the good news for Florida employees is the law says EVERYTHING has to go into calculating overtime -- wages and commissions and bonuses and referral fees. The bad news for those salaried employees who get overtime is that an employer legally can get away with paying overtime as half-time, not 1 1/2 times hourly rate.

Clearly, most of us want our personal time to stay just that. And you'll hear some say, they put in the overtime hours because they count on the pay. Now, the overtime discussion has me wondering, if pay is eliminated will there be an anti-overtime revolt?

Afraid to speak up?

2008-05-13T11:02:00.002-04:00

Last week, the demands on my time seemed overwhelming. My daughter was sick, my babysitter was sick and I wanted to attend a special training class that would help me at work.

My first thought was to give up the class. But a deep feeling in my gut told me not to miss it. So I juggled, called in reinforcements, and went to the class. I'm so glad I did.

Anyone who speaks in front of groups at work or outside of work should consider Dale Carnegie's High Impact Presentations. My friend Debra Levine, who works for Dale Carnegie, says even if you are Katie Couric in front of a camera or crowd, there's always room to take it up a notch.

About a dozen of us from various companies and professions went to the two-day class and evolved from being okay public speakers to wowing each other with our new-found confidence and skills.

We spent one morning taking a dull speech on Einstein and making it interesting by using gestures and projecting enthusiasm. We took turns sitting on the hot seat, learning how to handle stressful situations during a mock question and answer period. And we practiced moving our audience to action through a three-minute presentation.

Later this week, I'm speaking to a group of female bankers about work/life balance and success strategies. I plan to use my new bag of tricks to get them see me as an expert and read my column in The Miami Herald. I would imagine some of my peers in the class already have used their improved speaking skills in their jobs -- to land a new client, gain the confidence of the boss or convince a group of co-workers to see their viewpoint.

How are your public speaking skills? Do you think it's important to know how to speak up at work? Have you ever invested time in improving your presenting skills? Was it worth it?

Which is harder to manage -- career or family?

2008-05-10T15:39:00.002-04:00

A Mother's Day survey by Adecco asks, "Which is harder to manage career or family?"

Most working moms said managing career is a piece of cake next to managing family: 71% of working mothers find it more difficult to manage their family vs. career (29%).

If I was asked that question, I would have said managing family was more difficult, too. Here's why: Managing our careers takes focused energy. Managing our households takes focused energy. But when managing both at the same time, it's the family part of the equation that's more unpredictable -- a child gets sick, the teacher wants a conference, a science project requires some materials you don't have on hand.

This week, my daughter became very sick. I thought about how much easier it would have been to just focus on her. But I tried to keep up with work and nurse her back to health. The result is I'm exhausted.

Beyond the exhaustion, some working mothers feel frustrated trying to manage their family life. Apparently, their frustration has launched a whole new profession -- parent coaches. A Miami Herald article today on parent coaches said working mothers are turning to these experts when they can't handle the power struggles, arguments and or sibling rivalry. Jodi Mailander Farrell writes: "A 40-something first-time mother may be able to run a company, but when it comes to putting her baby to sleep at night, she may not have a clue."

But I think there's another question to ask working moms, "Which is more rewarding to manage career or family?" My guess you would find the same skew in the results. For most of us, recognition at work could never be as fulfilling as the handmade cards we will get today.

Which do you think is harder to manage career or family? Or is it trying to do both that makes our lives difficult?

Are you getting more forgetful?

2008-05-08T23:07:00.009-04:00

Do you ever hear yourself saying, "How could I have forgotten to do that?"

I'm desperately searching for an explanation why I can't remember things I need to do without writing them down. No more mental lists for me! I've gotten to the point where if I'm driving while someone mentions something that she needs me to do, I pull over or ask the person to call me back so I can write it down.

A co-worker assures me that my memory issues are helpful for raising responsible children. "It teaches them to take responsibility and write it down and not to just assume you are going to remember to do it," she insists.

Not long ago, a USA Today article reported scientific evidence that memory loss is a real issue for new moms. They gave it the name, Momnesia. One mommy blogger writes: I’ve suffered the effects of this illness long before I even knew it existed or had a name. I'm just wondering how long one can be considered a new mom. My youngest is almost seven. Does that rule me out from qualifying for Momnesia?

Another article calls spotty memory a symptom of information overload. There's a theory that information overload causes us to run out of brain space so there's not enough room to remember all those to-dos. Do you believe people can run out of brain space? Do you believe memory loss is caused by trying to balance work and kids? What are your techniques for remembering your to-dos?

Does money follow passion?

2008-05-06T20:05:00.005-04:00

After my recent article on finding your passion, I noticed a timely blog discussion. At issue: Will financial success necessarily come to those who follow their passions?

Marci Alboher who writes Shiftingcareers says: "The short answer, of course, is, “It depends.” If you happen to have a passion for choosing stocks, the money will follow a lot more easily than if you have a knack for writing Shakespearean sonnets. But most of us fall somewhere in the middle of those extremes, and that’s why there are as many answers to the question as there are career paths."

Darren Rowse, of ProBlogger (the authority on just about anything having to do with blogging): “I think it can be true — but what if you love doing something that there is just no economic sense in?”

From J.D. Roth, of Get Rich Slowly (a personal finance blogger who provides solid advice about money while conveying a “money isn’t everything” vibe): “Well, I’m not convinced there’s a strong correlation. I think that financial success can be related to doing what you love, but it’s not always the case. I have friends who love to teach, but they’re never going to get rich at it. I have friends who hate their jobs but make a killing.”

To me, it's about your definition of financial success. If you are passionate about something, you're more likely to figure out a way to make money doing it. You may not get rich but you will make money, and to me, that's success.

Of course, Janet Attwood, author of The Passion Test, would argue yes, money follows passion. Attwood says the most successful people in their professions are those that followed their passion. But I plan to ask her to weigh in.

Meanwhile, let me hear what you think. Does money follow passion?

Work and waste

2008-05-05T08:42:00.003-04:00

I just read an interesting take on work and waste in Fast Company Magazine. The article by David Roberts says American employees put in more hours and take fewer vacations than just about anyone else in the industrialized world. But they way we work and our struggle for balance also may drive our habits of waste.

Because we work so much, we're tired and tend to use more Styrofoam to-go containers. Because we work so much, we're tired and often fall asleep in front of the TV. Because we work so much, we're booting up power hungry electronics at all times of day and night. (Are you feeling guilty yet?) American workers have more than doubled productivity in the past half-century _ but they also have increased the nation's energy consumption and greenhouse-gas emissions.

The article goes on to say, "If we want to accelerate the recent trend of reducing waste, it may be time to consider the radical step of, well, relaxing more, consuming less and living fuller lives."

Relaxing? How many of us know how to do that anymore?

Roberts points out that even "green" businesses don't seem eager to reduce waste by reinventing the workweek or allowing more telecommuting. So, I'm forced to think it may be up to us workers to make proposals and reclaim our leisure time. And, its up to us to looking hard at devoting our leisure hours to activities with low environmental impact rather than driving around guzzling up gas or booting up our electronics. (Not easy habits to break!)

Would your company buy into a shorter work week if it benefited the company and the environment? Would you have the courage to make the proposal? And, would you be able to power down for an entire day on your next day off?

Finding your passion in work and life

2008-05-02T10:59:00.003-04:00

I received a lot of e-mail following my article on finding your passion in life. So I decided to post it on my blog. Click here to read it.

If you are still searching for your passion, I recommend reading Janet Attwood's The Passion Test. She gives some examples of lists of passions to pursue created by real people. The book might spark some ideas for you. Something Janet said rang true with me, the most successful people in their professions are those that have a passion for what they do. Still, 4 out of 5 people feel unfulfilled. Are you pursuing your passion?

Doctors want work/life balance

2008-04-30T10:49:00.004-04:00

Doctors want family lives, too. Last week, I had a conversation with Deborah Mulligan, an emergency room doctor at a children's hospital and single mother of three daughters. We talked about all the young women entering pediatric medicine and their desire to curb their work hours in order to have families. Deborah, a professor by day and ER doctor on nights and weekends, could relate.

A front page story in yesterday’s WSJ tackled the subject as did a blog post. It says that young physicians are challenging the assumption that a doctor should be available to treat patients around the clock. The attitudes are giving rise to different types of practice options -- ranging from small, primary-care facilities to jobs that keep doctors on predictable schedules by using a team-based approach that rotates multiple doctors among patients.

But does their work/life balance come at a price to the public? The piece says such choices are putting an additional strain on America’s health-care system because doctors are eschewing fields with unpredictable hours, such as internal medicine, pediatrics and family medicine.

And, there's the generational issue. Some senior doctors gripe that older physicians must pick up the slack for these young docs, handling trauma and emergency calls. “It really gets on your nerves when you get these young guys coming in and interviewing and they say, ‘I’m not doing this, I’m not doing that,’” says one.

I encountered the clash between generations in the medical profession when speaking about work/life balance to a large pediatric group last year. Most of the older male pediatricians had stay-at-home wives. The concept of balancing work and care giving was foreign to them. And, the industry shift toward family-friendly solutions was not something they were eager to embrace.

I would imagine these issues are playing out in other professions. Today's reality is most families are dual income. Family-friendly solutions to workplace issues are the trend. But look past the generation issue and I think there is an interesting question to ask, will the public pay a price?

Real men take naps

2008-04-29T17:37:00.005-04:00

I'll never forget when I brought my daughter to a bridal shower and it was her turn to write in the advice book for the new bride. She wrote, "make sure your husband gets a nap on the weekends."

You see, my husband works long hours during the week. But every Saturday and Sunday, he absolutely, positively must have an afternoon nap. They are vital to his work/life balance and his personality. No nap and he morphs into a very crabby boy. So I found myself relieved when I read a blog post by Dave Barry that reveals the most significant medical discovery for men since the invention of the electric nose-hair trimmer is that MEN NEED SLEEP.

Absolute chaos can be going on in my house on the weekends and through it all, my husband naps. I can't seem to pull of the same feat. But thanks to Dave, I now know that men produce a hormone that causes them to produce muscle mass when they sleep. I discovered from another article that naps help men fend off stress and heart disease. So I must agree with Dave, real men never miss their afternoon naps -- at least not in my house. Do you nap on your days off?

Madonna sleeps with her BlackBerry

2008-04-28T11:55:00.003-04:00

Margot Winnick, media specialist at University of Miami and a huge fan of the BlackBerry, brought an interesting article to my attention. Margot wants me to know she's not alone in her addiction to her BlackBerry.

Madonna sleeps with her BlackBerry, as does husband Guy Ritchie, she has revealed. The pop superstar made the unusual confession in a new interview, claiming there is nothing 'unromantic' about their dual habit. Speaking as she prepares to release new album 'Hard Candy', Madonna said having the device close by allows her to start work at any moment. 'We lie right next to each other with our BlackBerrys under our pillows. It's not unromantic. It's practical.' 'I'm sure loads of couples have their BlackBerrys in bed with them', she explained to Elle magazine. 'I have to sleep with my BlackBerry because I often wake up in the middle of the night and remember that I've forgotten something, so I jump up and make notes.'

Confession: I keep a notepad by my bed to write down thoughts that occur to me at night -- I guess I'm still in the dark ages. Another confession: I'm considering a BlackBerry.

Are our kids inheriting our stress?

2008-04-27T16:56:00.003-04:00

As a working mom with huge to-do lists, I'm often stressed. And, my kids know it. Sometimes I'll be trying to do a few things at the same time and one of them will say to me, "mom, you looked stressed.'' But after reading an article this weekend, I'm having second thoughts about showing stress in front of my kids.

The article said college kids are so stressed out from everyday worries they are having trouble eating, sleeping and studying. Four in 10 students say they endure stress often and one in five say they feel it all or most of the time. Darker still, one in six have friends who have discussed suicide and one in 10 have considered it themselves.

So what's stressing these students out? Most attribute it to school work and grades, financial problems, relationships and dating, family problems and extracurricular activities. Sadly, college women have a more stressful existence than men, with 45 percent of females and 34 percent of males saying they face frequent stress.

I asked my kids whether they ever feel stressed. Without hesitation they said yes. They told me homework is what stresses them. As a kid, I remember worrying about getting my homework done. But I don't remember feeling "stressed" over it. So, I have to wonder, are kids emulating their parents?

I just started making a point to spend at least ten minutes a day doing something fun for myself ---reading a magazine article, walking around the block, doing a crossword puzzle. Sometimes, I include my kids in the activity, to show them how I unwind. But I wonder which message is stronger. Do you kids are feeling stressed too early in life? Are we doing a good enough job of teaching our children how to cope with stress? Are we doing a good enough job of learning how to deal with our own stress?

Highlights of the Work/Life Balance Conference

2008-04-24T15:06:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I had the good fortune to attend the 4th Annual Work-Life Balance Conference for Businesswomen. The best part of the conference was the audience -- 1,500 super-enthused women, eager to network and soak in some inspiration. I plan to write about the conference and its messages in detail in my upcoming column in The Miami Herald.

But I wanted to share some highlights. Paralympic medalist Bonnie St. John told us an inspirating story about falling down on the slope during a run for the gold medal. With the world looking on, she got up and finished the race. She finished third and won a bronze medal. The gold went to a woman who also had fallen. The difference: the gold medalist had gotten up faster. Her message: Everyone falls, winners are the ones who get up the fastest.

Naomi Judd shared a powerful message, too. She's had a hard life as a single mother at a very young age. She says change is inevitable. It's how you react that makes a difference. She defines change this way: Choose Having A New Growth Experience. Now that's a working mother I admire!

Blackberrys may spur overtime lawsuits

2008-04-22T10:36:00.005-04:00

Should you get paid overtime if a demanding boss e-mails while your getting ready for bed and wants an answer immediately? Good question.

An article in NLJ today says many lawyers are telling employers to make an overtime policy as the popularity of hand-held devices is booming in the workplace, allowing wired-up employees to work anywhere, anytime.

Attorneys believe a new wave of wage-and-hour litigation is just around the corner, where employees will claim overtime for all the hours they've spent clicking away on their BlackBerrys or other hand-held devices.

April Boyer of Miami's Kirkpatrick & Lockhart Preston Gates Ellis, a management-side law firm, said she has helped several clients add BlackBerry-use policies to their existing computer policies. Boyer believes that complaints about unpaid BlackBerry time will likely emerge from discontented workers. "Usually you don't hear about it until you have a disgruntled employee. They can tally up an enormous list of alleged hours worked and the employer is in a difficult position trying to defend what the actual hours worked were," Boyer told NLJ.

The advice some lawyers doled out:

* Require that employees get permission first before using their BlackBerrys after work hours.

* Consider anytime a non-exempt employee (someone entitled to overtime) is using their BlackBerry for the benefit of the employer is compensable time — period.

Most of us do what we need to do to get our jobs done. And, let's be realistic...it's not always within the time frame of our specified work hours. But I guess if I was spending a great deal of after hours time on my BlackBerry for work and a manager abused expectations, I might want to be paid for the time. Your thoughts?

The Ultimate Day of Work-Life Balance

2008-04-21T10:42:00.003-04:00

If you have never been to the Work-Life Balance Conference sponsored by Balance Magazine, I urge to join us on Wednesday(April 23) at Signature Grand in Davie. This all day program is an amazing networking event. Lots of women, lots of inspiration, lots of fun.

Singer Naomi Judd is the keynote speaker. Other speakers are Pernille Spiers-Lopez, president of IKEA North America; Janet Bray Attwood, author of The Passion Test and co-founder of online magazine Healthy Wealthy n Wise; and Bonnie St. John, the first African American to win Olympic medals in ski racing. I will be moderating a panel of female business leaders, who have climbed the ladder and learned a lot on the way up. I know they will have some good advice to share.

Last year's conference was great and gave some strong messages to walk away with. I'm sure this year's will be even better. Register online at www.balancemagazine.com.

Lucky Dan goes on a sabbatical

2008-04-17T14:57:00.004-04:00

I'm fascinated by people who are brave/smart enough to take sabbaticals. They always seem so zen when they return to work. This time, it's Dan Le Batard, my newspaper's esteemed Sports Columnist who is doing some rebalancing. Le Batard has made a big name for himself with his columns, his ESPN gigs, talk radio shows and magazine articles. But he says he's so over with juggling it all. He announced he will take a leave of absence for a year starting May 15.

Why now? "Because sports stinks down here right now,'' Le Batard says. Le Batard, 39, called his work/life balance lopsided. "Too much of my identity was tied into my work. I have been working too much, too long. I want more time with family and girlfriend.''

Le Batard says he allowed his ESPN contract to expire April 1, but plans to keep his radio show on 790 The Ticket because it's "3 1/2 hours of laughter a day.'' While on leave, he plans on traveling to China and Spain and hanging out in Miami with his parents, brother and girlfriend of a year. He may even look into writing a book.

While many dream of sabbaticals, few can pull it off financially. LeBatard says 20 years of being single, with low expenses, allowed him to sock away enough to live comfortably for a year.

He plans to return to The Miami Herald in a year, "refreshed and invigorated.'' The paper has guaranteed him his job when he returns and he hopes to write an occasional column, much like previous sabbatical taker Miami humor writer Dave Barry.

Sports editor Jorge Rojas says Dan's sabbatical is good for the paper, too. (It saves money on his salary for a year. ) Rojas is envious. He wishes he could afford to take a year off -- and have his job guaranteed when he returns. As Rojas points out, "most of us can't do that for a year." Fess up, are you envious, too?

Great tips for a job search or career change

2008-04-16T09:26:00.002-04:00

My friend Vivian and I were chatting one day about her sister, Belkys. After 20 years as a mortgage banker, Belkys wants a new career. She is her family's breadwinner so she needs to find a new while still trying to earn a living. I though Belkys was pretty typical of others who need to change careers right now.

So I paired Belkys with Maria Drew of Right Management of Florida, an executive coach, for my Miami Herald article. Belkys knew she was getting a good deal, a session with a coach who usually charges a good sum for her service. But I was surprised by how much I learned during the session. Finding a job-- or whole new career -- is way different in today's high tech world from the kind of searches I did many years ago. Maria really encouraged Belkys to think about her hobbies and how they could be turned into a new career.

The most important tip Maria shared was her view on networking. She points out that companies are inundated with resumés sent electronically. The way to get noticed, she feels, is to drop a name or have someone within a company make an introduction. Maria encouraged Belkys to go to networking events and to use online social networking sites (she likes LinkedIn). These are things you can do even if you're working during your job search.

I asked Maria the biggest mistake candidates make. Her answer: bombing the job interview by talking about yourself rather than finding out how you can fill a company's gap in skills. Here's the link to our appearance on CBS4 this morning:

http://cbs4.com/video/?id=53418@wfor.dayport.com

Just listening to the Belkys made me realize how tough it must be to leave your career comfort zone after many years. Have you ever been through a career shift? What was the best and worst part for you?

Women law firm leaders still sparse, why?

2008-04-14T10:36:00.001-04:00

I've often read that the reason women aren't in the top jobs in Corporate America is because they don't want them. But I once again wonder about that assertion after reading today's National Law Journal.

I have watched law firms become much more flexible with their female lawyers. I see them making more female partners. Yet, the article says only small percentage of women are at the pinnacle of law firms across the country, and some recent departures do not bode well for the advancement of women in the profession. What wouldn't a woman want the most power position at her place of work?

Apparently, managing a multipartner law firm is a job few lawyers want, regardless of gender. "The pool of lawyers who want to run a law firm is relatively small, but the pool of women lawyers eager to take on the tasks is even smaller, said Valerie Ford Jacob, co-managing partner of 684-attorney Fried, Frank, Harris, Shriver & Jacobson in New York.

Here's what makes chair of a law firm unappealing, Jacob says: Extensive travel to far-flung offices, the constant demands of business development and, in some cases, the need to maintain a practice with key clients while dealing with managerial issues.

But the article goes on to give all kinds of other explanations for turnover at the top: A male partner asserted that women don't want to be chairs because those in the job perform a housekeeping function within law firms — something women are not keen to do. A female partner suggested fewer women are in the right leadership roles to ascend to the top --either because of balance issues or law firm politics.

I suspect there are a combination of reasons. But I encourage the women who want the top job to speak up and say they want it, get the word out that they would do the job whatever it takes and lobby for it. It's what the men do. Am I naive in thinking that's all it would take?

A Working Dad's Big Decision

2008-04-13T19:29:00.001-04:00

I read the news in The Miami Herald this weekend that Florida Supreme Court Justice Raoul Cantero is resigning. I was shocked. Even more shocking was the reason.

Six years after becoming the first Cuban-American to hold that position on the bench, Cantero, 47, had to choose between his family needs and his career. He said his daughter's recent undisclosed illness and his children's ages -- 18, 15, 13 -- persuaded him to resign and to move his family from Tallahassee back home to Miami.

"During these six years, despite the new friends we have made, my wife, three children, and I have missed our hometown. It is time I put my family's needs first." Cantero wrote in his resignation letter. "We have an extended family in Miami, which has grown to include many grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. My children miss their grandparents, their aunts and uncles, and their cousins," he wrote.

I can only imagine how hard this decision was for Cantero. So many working parents must make similar decisions every day in cities around the country -- moms and dads. Cantero will land a job in Miami, no doubt about that. But for the man who was touted as a possible U.S. Supreme Court justice, the resignation meant HUGE personal sacrifice. It will be years before his children understand -- really understand -- the sacrifice. It's no wonder Cantero said, "It's a decision I didn't make lightly."

Do you think he made the right choice? Have you ever had to make an extremely difficult career/family decision? How did it work out for you?

Layoffs, buyouts, bad morale

2008-04-09T12:08:00.000-04:00

Today is a difficult day for me. Frankly, the morale in my office stinks. One of the reasons I choose not to work from home is collegiality. I like my co-workers and get lots of ideas, feedback and enthusiasm from the interaction I have with them. But just like in life, there's a plus and minus.

Yesterday, a large group of my colleagues, the most seasoned reporters at my paper, were offered buyouts. In their eyes, it was an emotional slap in the face. I likely would have been among them had I not gone part time years ago. Today, those who have stopped by to chat with grim face and sad tales, tell me they can't afford to take the offer. They all need to keep work in their work/life balance. And so, we all wait for the next move by our employer. In the meantime, the uncertainty about the newspaper industry, the future for family breadwinners and the career paths of workers who have been in this profession for decades weighs heavy on us all.

Part of me wants to retreat to my home, to hide from the disenchantment permeating my workplace. But is that fair? These are the co-workers who help me find the right word for a column, ask me about my vacation, share coffee cream and swap tales about our children's milestones. So, here I am. At my desk. A sounding board. A cheerleader for the hopefully good times ahead. Someone who knows that live is not all about work, but knows how important it is when your job is your passion, too.

Often, my colleagues and I complain about too much work. But today, it's the alternative that scares us more.

The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom

2008-04-07T12:03:00.000-04:00

I'm back from Spring Break and want to talk about an article that caught my eye while on vacation. It was about Tracey Gold and her new gig: host of TLC's new show, The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom. It's a reality series that airs 10 p.m. Mondays and shows stay-at-home moms what their lives could have been like had they pursued their careers.

Here's the pitch for the series: This new series offers those women a chance to answer “what if” when it gives a full-time mom the chance to secretly live the life she gave up to raise her family. During this season, viewers will meet women like Adrian, a mother of three who dreams of making it big in the fashion industry; Kathryn, who met her husband in culinary school and now wants to see if she can handle the heat of a professional kitchen; and Jeannie who wonders if being a police officer – like her husband – will be as rewarding as raising her four children.

This is the link to the trailer for the show: <http://www.bark-bark.com/tlca_009/approvalfinals/TLCAslsm_FINAL.mov

I haven't watched the show, yet. I like the premise, but here's what I hope the series tackles:

Conflicts that arise when a child's class play, field trip, award ceremony arises on the same day of an important work meeting, business trip or project deadline.
Conflicts that arise when the dreaded call comes from a school nurse to come pick your sick child up pronto. (This could include negotiations with spouse over who has more flexibility that day or would most risk losing their job)
Office politics that make you ask yourself whether the aggravation is worth the income.
Decisions about child care coverage for school holidays and summer vacation and/or manager reaction when you bring your child with you to work.

Those are a few that come to mind off the top of my head. If you've seen the show, let me hear from you. I promise to weigh in again after I watch it. Do you feel a half-hour series can do justice to the life of a working mom?

Spring Break dilemma

2008-03-29T17:14:00.004-04:00

I remember my first year out of college, when my younger friends came home for Spring Break. There I was in my new job, with no vacation time in sight. What a dose of reality!

As a mother, Spring Break brought a new dilemma - what to do with my kids. For workers who get little or no vacation, taking a week off in Spring can be difficult. I have tried many options -- babysitters, bringing them to work with me, shipping them to friend's home, working from home. At one point, my company had Spring Break camp at the office for working parents. No more.

At some point, I gave up. It became too expensive and too complicated. I now take the week off. As this year's break neared, I had many conversations with other parents, struggling to figure out how to give their kids a break while holding their job.

I figure as long as I'm taking off work, I want to spend the week doing nothing. NOTHING! Spending the entire day in my pjs with my kids in theirs. My hubby wants to go to Disney for a few days. It's all still in negotiation but I'm stocking up on pjs.

Read WorkItMom.com to hear how others are juggling Spring Break and work schedules. Working parents, how are you handling Spring Break? Are any of you lucky enough to be able to take the week off, too? What does your fantasy Spring Break look like?

Surviving the slowing economy

2008-03-26T10:28:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, my company told me I must stick to my part-time work schedule. No overtime. The mandate has forced me to be as productive as I can, give up some task, and to watch my personal budget more closely. But I'm far from alone in my need to adapt to changes from the slowing economy.

My Miami Herald column today explored what employers and employees are doing. Some workers are carpooling, working harder and longer, updating their resumes and considering second jobs. Some are giving up some free time to concentrate on learning new skills. At the same time, employers are scrutinizing expenses, eliminating overtime, cutting some perks and postponing projects.

I asked Dale Carnegie's CEO Peter Handal to weigh in with his advice for coping with the financial pressure we all feel right now. Here are his tips:

For the employers:

*Do not fire top talent. Top talent is the single most important variable in innovation. When you fire experienced employees, you are not only cutting costs, you are cutting revenues.
*Re-research your customers. Successful companies do not abandon their marketing strategies in a recession; they adapt them. Instead of cutting your market research budget you need to know more than ever how consumers are redefining value and responding to the recession.
*Emphasize core values. This is the time when CEOs should go out of their way to spend more time with employees, which will effectively elevate their sense of importance to the company. Studies have proven that employees who are engaged are 43% more productive. A recession is the perfect time to pull out all the stops.
*Keep in touch with your clients. As the main source of income, keep up with your clients. Ask if you can’t help them in more arenas or offer more services. Think beyond your usual menu of offerings.
*Spend money only if it makes more money. Regardless of economic conditions, never spend a dollar unless you feel certain it will result in a sales return of $1 plus something for net profit before taxes.
*Inspect your internal operations. Conduct thorough analyses of your organization’s operational procedures to determine how to cut costs, reduce duplication of work, increase productivity and improve fiscal oversight. Money and time are always saved in reviewing operations that could be accomplished by fewer people with the same or a greater level of proficiency.
*Outsource. As a last resort, look into outsourcing some of your business processes including payroll, IT and other operational processes. If these areas can be handled on a part-time basis by a freelanced entity, you could save a bundle.

For the employees:
* Network, network, network. While networking is always important, during tough times we must raise our visibility and keep our radar wide open to be aware of as much information as possible. This is a time to differentiate ourselves by interacting with more people.
* Be a good listener to your clients. During economically challenging times, people have fears and concerns. People need someone to listen to their thoughts, ideas, concerns, and desires. If we become too focused on the near term business and are not listening to the full needs of our clients, they will begin to feel that we only want their money.
* Be prepared. Build an emergency fund. Continue contributing enough to your retirement plan to get the full employer match, but consider putting any extra savings in your emergency fund until it is sufficient.
* Do due diligence. Do homework on your company, or the company you are thinking of applying to work for, to learn how well positioned it is to survive a downturn. You can prowl the Internet, check out the business press, visit a business librarian or go talk to a stock broker. However, if you are already losing sleep over the economy, you’ll want to explore a move to an industry better able to withstand turbulence.

Are you feeling the economic pinch? How are you coping?

A Dad's Guide to Anger Management

2008-03-25T16:40:00.002-04:00

Great story in Best Life Magazine. Ted Anthony asks, "Am I a scary dad?"

Anthony says after giving his son a tongue-lashing, the 4-year-old said, "Dad you're really big and scary when you yell." For days after his son's comment, Anthony says he did't feel big and scary but rather small and useless. Yet, he admits, a part of him relishes the ability to intimidate. Anthony gives these tips for helping a guy control his inner Hulk while making sure Bruce Banner never takes a long vacation. (I can't wait to pass them on to my husband!)

Use anger as a tool, not an outlet. Personal anger usually has nothing to do with your kid and everything to do with your bad day -- deal with it among adults.
Be consistent and predictable. When parents are consistent about what makes them mad, it's easier for kids to adapt.
Apologize to your kid. When you lose your cool unfairly, let your child know you were wrong.
Find temperament role models for yourself, then benchmark your anger (Fred Flintstone?)
Be a color commentator for televised anger. When you see it on TV point it out.

I really enjoyed Anthony's truthful insight: "Managing our own male anger is complicated. Managing it through the next generation is downright terrifying."

Here are some other ideas from the article to tame your wild one without raising your voice: Leave the room, learn your trigger, plan ahead, try humor, offer limited choices.

Use 10 minutes well

2008-03-24T13:36:00.002-04:00

In my quest for time-management tips, I want to pass along my latest find --a new book, 100 Ways to Motivate Others. I particularly like the tip called, "Use 10 minutes well."

Author Steve Chandler says what separates a great leader from a lousy manager is the ability to use 10 minutes well. He says you will never "find" time for anything. If you want time, you must make it. Sometimes, that item we have not found time to do will fit into that next 10-minute window -- while you are waiting for a call back or your next appointment.

I also like Chandler's suggestions to be more productive by creating a routine. He gives the example of a leader whose apartment was a mess. The man made up a routine -- Mondays, while coffee was brewing, he would do his living room. Tuesdays, his kitchen. Wednesdays the home office. After 90 days, the routine became a habit. He suggests we try this at work. Make up a routine for checking e-mail, preparing for meetings, responding to phone calls -- and follow it for 90 days. If you have a routine that's not working for you, replace it.

To read more tips from his book, click here.

What women want...in a car

2008-03-20T15:40:00.004-04:00

CNN.com shares "What women want in a car."

While it's not surprising that women want different things than men, I would bet money that working mothers want really different things. In my case, my SUV is telling of my lifestyle. On any given day, there's my work tote, a Starbuck's cup, magazines waiting to be read, dirty soccer socks and a dog leash. Between commuting and chauffeuring kids, if I ever sat down and added it up, I actually may spend more time in my car than in my bed.

Ford's Sheryl Connelly says, "Women want the same things as men, but they want more. For example, they want performance, package and design, but they also want safety and more features. We are taking that into consideration in all of our new products."

I have confessed to my hubby on numerous occasions that my car is what suffers from my attempts at a balancing act. There are explained dents, dings and scratches as well as unexplained carpet stains as I dash from place to place. Yes, I want more in my car than a man would want. I want rubber bumpers all the way around, lots of cup holders and storage, hands-free talking devices (for those calls on the road), scratch free paint and a garbage can. Of course, I need the DVD player, too. And did I mention a huge gas tank that burns through gas VERY slowly. I also want my vehicle built extra-tough for safety.

I agree completely with Liz Pilibosian, chief engineer for the 2008 Cadillac CTS, who said she believes "when you make a car for a woman, you are going to satisfy everybody." So, women do you agree with Liz?

Who has time to shop around?

2008-03-19T13:30:00.003-04:00

I heard an ad for Verzion Wireless on the radio this morning. The company is offering great deals on cell phones. My Sprint contract almost is up. So, I scribble call Verizon and Sprint on my to-do list. Also, my DSL line at home gets constant interruptions. Someone suggested I switch to Comcast and told me they are offering a six-month special price. I scribble call Comcast on my to-do list. Wow, shopping for good deals is awfully time consuming.

As most of us feel the economic pinch, comparison shopping makes sense. I'm sure I could be saving lots of money if I made the time investment. Any cell phone user knows a call to one or both of these providers could take an hour's time (on a good day, with minimal hold time) .

My latest fixation is wondering when people find the time to make personal phone calls. Perhaps some people have a phone call routine. As a working mom, when I'm at work, it's all about work. When I'm at home, it's all about the kids. Am I crazy to rely on commute time for tedious phone calls?

Work-space induced stress.

2008-03-18T17:36:00.003-04:00

Do you walk into work and feel stressed just looking at your desk? I do. In her new book,Miami organizer Diane Hatcher asks, "How do you feel when you walk into your work each morning?" If you feel stressed, get organized, she says.

I know Diane is talking to me. She must see the piles of mail and magazines clumped in the corner of my desk. I'm so busy most days, it's hard to take the time to declutter. But Diane insists clearing away the clutter will not get us organized. She wants us to create a system that will keep us from accumulating again. And, most important to realize being perfectly organized is unrealistic. (That's a relief!)

Here are some time-management/organization tips Diane gives in her book that I will put into action and pass on:
* Answer routine letters on the original letter.
* Stop piling -- create a place for everything except piles.
* Be ruthless about throwing things out.
* Break the habit of just laying stuff down where there's space. Put it away where it belongs.
* Purge file annually.
* Take reading materials with you to read while stuck in traffic or waiting for an appointment.

Diane's new book is Don't Agonize, Organize Your Office. Visit her website at www.timesaversusa.com. I'm convinced I'm more productive and less stressed when I take control of my work space. Do you think clutter, maybe even your co-worker's clutter, affects your stress level at work?

It's my birthday and I'm looking for wrinkles

2008-03-17T10:59:00.003-04:00

Over the weekend, I celebrated my 43rd birthday. Wow, that sounds old. When I woke up, I immediately looked for wrinkles (Isn't that what everyone does on their birthday when they get past 40?) I found some, but I'm not sure they are new. What I know for certain, is that this balancing act is aging me. I can't remember to-dos or phones numbers for more than a few minutes. I have to write everything down. And, when I go to sleep at night, I'm much more exhausted than I was in my 30s.

My grandmother is 100, so by comparison, I'm young. But my grandmother never worked outside the home. My sister and I have searched Gram's cabinets in her apartment for her secret "Fountain of Youth." We have decided her secret potion is not necessarily an easy life but one without the stresses of trying to please a boss, c0-workers, a husband, kids and herself. As a working mom in an industry going through change, I'm juggling a dozen job responsibilities with Girl Scout meetings and soccer practices.

Today, it is very rare for us working parents to actually take five minutes out of our busy day to look after ourselves. When was the last time you went to the gym, or read a good book with no interruptions? That makes you and me susceptible to the dreaded -- stress wrinkles!!!

Apparently, stress wrinkles are common in this day, where people are constantly trying to juggle many different aspects of their lives. I read all about them on the website, Friends of Vista.

Here are a few things that website suggests: Laugh in the morning in front of the mirror and try out a few facial exercises. Giggle more. Take a break from work (play hooky for a day). Or take a break from family (hit the beach for a few hours alone).

One of the toughest things for me to do is “shut off” the work part of my brain. Sometimes, I have to force myself to relax and forget about all that needs to get done. But when I do, I invariably enjoy the downtime and discover I'm more refreshed. Now, I have the added incentive of slowing down the aging process. Do you believe the balancing act is aging? What are your tips for fending off stress wrinkles?

Companies target moms-to-be with wellness programs

2008-03-13T15:08:00.003-04:00

Most of us know that telling the boss you are pregnant can be tricky. But now, there are new reasons to blab: benefits. Ten years ago, many employers viewed pregnant employees as liabilities. But today, companies are seeing the potential for cost savings by reaching out to this group with new wellness programs.

*Pitney Bowes has a Great Expectations program for its pregnant workers. Once women sign up for the program, they are given a dedicated nurse who will call to check up on them throughout their pregnancies and after.

* AOL has a WellBaby program for pregnant employees. It provides pregnant employees and beneficiaries with a case manager who works to answer questions and provide support. AOL also offers a lactation program that lets employees receive lactation counseling both in-person and over the phone. The program makes sense for AOL, which has a large female population. Thirty-eight percent of benefit-eligible employees are women, and the average age at AOL is 37. Eighty-six percent of participants in the WellBaby program had high-risk pregnancies. In 2007, AOL saved an estimated $400,000 in just preterm labor prevention. Of the five sets of twins born last year, only one set was born prematurely.

With women having babies later and using fertility treatments, births and complications are more costly. The stats say it all: Maternal care services account for one out of every five dollars large employers spend on health care, according to a recent report by the National Business Group on Health.

The business case for these programs is even more pronounced for companies that cover fertility treatments under their health care plans, says Patti Freedman, a senior health care consultant at Watson Wyatt Worldwide. “If I was an employer with fertility benefits, I would tell employees that in order to get these benefits, they have to take part in the wellness program,” she says.

To read more about this trend, click here.

Finding what you are meant to do in life

2008-03-12T10:49:00.002-04:00

Are you having fun at work? Or do you dread where you are going and what you are doing for a living? For those of you who aren't having fun, you might want to seek a life coach to help you find that right career.

What's a life coach, you ask? A life coach is an objective person who over the phone or in person will help you learn more about yourself and what you are good at. Check out the CBS4 interview this morning with Bill Dueease of Coach Connection. His website is FindYourCoach.com. He mentioned his company works with coaches in 41 states.

Here's the link: http://cbs4.com/video/?id=51775@wfor.dayport.com . If you have had a successful session with a life coach, tell me about it. If you think they are a waste of time, let me hear about that, too.

Eliot Spitzer where did you find the time?

2008-03-11T13:54:00.006-04:00

Where o where Mr. Spitzer did you find the time to hook up with a high-priced prostitute?

As the Governor of New York, I would think Mr. Spitzer would be pretty darn busy. This man has three teenage daughters at home and runs an influential state in the free union. Really, where is he finding time for a high-priced call girl? Isn't he constantly tied to his Blackberry like most men of influence? Doesn't he have fundraisers to attend, soccer games to get to?

Now, I'm left wondering... is cheating part of the work week for politicians? Is it something they schedule on their electronic calendars? While the rest of us struggle with work/life balance, Mr. Spitzer must have mastered the art of delegation. Though he obviously knew which tasks he personally needed to handle. He even found time to hide his payments to the prostitution service. Mr. Spitzer, your time-management skills must be superb. You found time to do it all. Now, you can clear your calender and forget about work/life balance. You're going to be awfully busy with your defense.

Losing an hour stinks. So does losing a friend.

2008-03-10T09:52:00.005-04:00

Here it is Monday and most of us are out of sorts. We've adjusted our clocks forward and lost an hour of our precious weekend time. Even worse, I took a nap yesterday, which I consider completely unproductive. In fact, I felt mad about losing an hour and guilty about taking a nap until......

I read yesterday's newspaper and saw an obituary that shocked me. It was for a 50-year-old man named Howard Glass. As a young reporter covering real estate, Howard was one of the first sources I made. He was smart and knew a lot about the deals going on in the South Florida market. But in my pre-kids days, I was taken aback when mid-conversation about a new project underway, Howard took a phone call from his wife who was home with their newborn son. Howard insisted she put the baby on the phone and he proceeded to talk baby talk to him. I didn't know what to make of the whole scene.

Many years later, I ran into Howard again. I asked about what he was doing in his career and I asked about his son. His face lit up the same way it did that day when he spoke baby talk in front of me. He had another a few years after the first and told me all about his kids' accomplishments. I had a hard time finding out about his work life because he was so excited telling me about his kids. Howard's obituary said he died of an inspirational battle with cancer.

In my struggle for work/life balance, I gained some perspective just thinking about Howard. I am sure Howard made the most of each hour he had with his family. He may have taken naps, he may have had some unproductive hours, but overall, I know without doubt that Howard knew family was as important as work.

Some of us work extremely hard and never have time for our personal lives, and particularly, our own families. Perhaps, however, it's time to change that. What changes have you made to emphasize family over your career? I love this blog post with balance tips from freelancer Allan Branch. Let's hear your best moves.

When a man loses his job is he still successful?

2008-03-06T16:00:00.004-05:00

Despite juggling work and family and personal pursuits such as golf, most men proudly talk about what they do for a living. Lately, a number of my girlfriends have told me their husbands have lost their jobs. The scenario has not only created turmoil financially, it has created emotional havoc for the entire family.

So I had to wonder when I learned of a new survey by American Express and Best Life Magazine that found men increasingly are defining success by their family's health and happiness, work/life balance, and time they spend having fun.

Are these men who never lost their jobs?

Some interesting stats from the survey of 1,000 affluent men:
* Only 10 percent of men consider themselves both happy and successful.
* Nearly all of the men (95 percent) believe that to be successful, a man must achieve work/life balance
* Only one out of four men will take a sick day to enjoy their personal interests.

Best Life Magazine also outlines the secrets of the 10 percent of men who are extremely happy and super successful. Some characteristics that set them apart: The ability to have fun, having clearly defined goals and navigating change well.

It's that last thing -- navigating change well -- that will be crucial in the upcoming months for executives who may suffer in the souring economy. Does this topic hit home for you? Do you consider success tied to your career? And, how can you keep job loss from emotionally affecting your entire family?

Women need to network with men

2008-03-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

At age 70, Loretta Cockrum is one of the most interesting businesswomen I have spoken with in my career.

Her business career took a path with many twists. Cockrum was only in her 30s with two kids when husband became ill and passed away. She became her family's sole breadwinner. Though she was a homemaker for 14 years, her education and training was as a dental hygienist. She knew she needed a more lucrative profession. Off to real estate school she went and while there, she rubbed elbows with just the right contacts. Before long, she became involved in the investment side of real estate. "I shifted my energy to work,'' she says.

Today, Cockrum, runs Foram Group in Miami, a successful real estate investment firm that also is developing a large piece of property on Brickell Avenue. She says she learned along the way that business is a man's world. And, she has learned to navigate it.

While female professionals today are networking with each other, Cockrum thinks it is as important they put in the time to network with men. "Women need to have male mentors and friends. They bring a balance and perspective sometimes,'' she says. "I don't think you should alienate them. They have been supremely helpful to me.''

Dogs don't belong in offices

2008-03-04T16:33:00.003-05:00

As a dog owner, it's been a slow adjustment for me. I was never crazy about animals but I have come to love my sweet Cocker Spaniel. This week I am writing about work/life balance issues pet owners encounter. At times, the issues are the same as they are with kids. Dogs need attention, food and walks and long hours away from them cause them to act out. As I looked at all the arrangements people make -- pet sitters, dog walkers, dog day cares -- I came across some employers that allow pet owners to bring their animals to work.

As I admitted earlier, I am not an enthusiastic pet lover. But even in the realm of work/life balance, I can't understand allowing pets in the workplace. Some people are allergic, others completed distracted. And, I don't consider having pets at work to be professional. On the occasions I have been to a jeweler in my neighborhood, I noticed three small dogs roaming the stores. They are cute dogs. But they take away from my shopping experience, just like screaming children take away from a fine dining experience.

What are your thoughts on pets in the workplace? Does it make the workplace more fun or do you feel it should it be prohibited?

Have you had a Pokemon moment?

2008-03-02T23:01:00.003-05:00

Argh!!!! At six a.m. this morning, my 6-year-old woke me up to play Pokemon cards with him. I was furious. I love sleeping late on Sundays. I quickly rolled out of bed so he didn't wake the whole house but I wasn't happy about it -- at all. And I let him know it.

Reluctantly, I sat down and played with him, just the two of us while the rest of my family, neighbors and fortunate people in town were sleeping. As we were playing this ridiculous card game, he looked at me with such joy and chatted about the cards with such enthusiasm that I began looking at the situation much differently. I call it, "my Pokemon moment." I realized it was just the kind of time together I need to savor. I can sleep late years from now when I have an empty nest and my son no longer wants to play Pokemon with me. (Though I made it clear to him, this isn't going to become a regular routine) Still, I'm all for blogger Amy Dunkin's idea of trying to get marketers to package sleep in a bottle.

So, have you ever had a Pokoman moment -- on a date, at a party, with your kids or co-workers -- when you went into the situation with a bad attitude and later realized it was a worthwhile way to spend your time after all? Should we leave ourselves open to Pokemon moments or is our off-the-clock play and sleep time too valuable?

Finding balance while traveling

2008-02-28T12:16:00.004-05:00

On the road and feeling you need more balance in your life? Check out this new website called BusinessBalance.com. It's a website created by Embassy Suites Hotels and designed to help business travelers figure out how to eat better, get a good night sleep, fit exercise into their travel schedules and reduce stress by navigating airports better. There also are tips for where to go to goof off.

"Our website acknowledges that people aren't able to stick to their standard routine when traveling," says John Lee, a vice president with Embassy Suites Hotels. The site has practical information on wrinkle-free packing but it also has wellness suggestions for how to care for your body and soul on the road. "It's how to stay sane on the road," Lee says.

Stressed? Stay away from checkout lines

2008-02-28T12:02:00.005-05:00

A new study shows the average American woman could lose 4.1 lbs a year simply from resisting the urge to purchase impulse items such as chocolate candies, salty snacks, and soda once they are in the checkout line, according to a new study from IHL Consulting Group. These are just the kind of foods I grab at the checkout line when I'm stressed or trying to fit too much into my day and don't have time for a healthy meal. Junk-on-the-go, isn't that the side effect of our 24/7 days?

Men do the checkout grab, too. The study shows American men could lose 3.1 pounds from resisting the urge to buy junk items at checkout. The worst at this is men under the age of 25 years old whose caloric impulse buys cause them to consume enough calories each year for an additional eight more pounds.

I plan to take the advice of the experts. Instead of heading for the checkout line next time I'm stressed or time-pressed, I'll opt for the self-checkout. The study shows impulse purchases among women drop 32.1 percent and men 16.7 percent when self-checkout is used because those counters aren't as merchandised.

Are you guilty of skipping meals because you get too busy and filling up on junk instead? Is your new year's resolution to stop doing this working? Many working people hit the drugstore or supermarket on the way home from work. That makes you vulnerable to the checkout line grab. Have you come up with creative solutions?

Making time for friends

2008-02-26T22:13:00.004-05:00

So research shows we have fewer friends and spend less time with them than 20 years ago. I put the research to the test and found out Karen Echols, COO of the Greater Miami Chamber of Commerce, bonds with girlfriends through Ladies Night Out. Each month Echols asks a different hostess to invite the group to their home and decide what food will be served. Echols says they women talk about range of topics and try to stay upbeat. Some women have splintered off and formed more intimate subgroups. Echols says her husband Bill uses the night to get together with his friends. "I think it's as important as working out."

John Cardillo, a Miami Internet entrepreneur, logs lots of work hours and travel miles. But he, too, makes time for friends. As a member of The Havana Club in downtown Miami, Cardillo drops by frequently to smoke a cigar and shoot the breeze with buddies. He also takes motorcycle trips with his pals. Cardillo believes making time for friends is good for his health. "It's my way of decompressing," he says.

Here are a few tips on making time for friends from friendship coach Jan Yager

* Plan a lunch date or coffee break and while catching up schedule your next get together.

* If you live far away, schedule vacations together, or even a day trip.

* Make a movie night each month and invite a different friend each time.

* Volunteer together.

Yager acknowledges it may take extra effort the busier we get but she considers it a good investment for the future when you have more time on your hands. I've decided I'm going to make more effort to make time for friends. Do you feel you get more from friendships than from relationships with a significant other or family members?

It's Tuesday, get to work

2008-02-26T10:44:00.002-05:00

If you are at work right now, you should know this --- Tuesday is the most productive day of the week, so get cranking!

A recent Accountemps survey of 150 senior executives from the nation’s 1,000 largest companies found that 57% favored Tuesday as their most productive day. Monday is the catchup day after the weekend and a common day for meetings. It was no surprise that Friday was considered the least productive day of the week (we have the weekend on our minds) “Many view Tuesday as an opportunity to focus their efforts and establish momentum for the rest of the week,”said Max Messmer, chairman of Accountemps

Meanwhile, Accountemps, a temporary staffing firm for accounting, finance and bookkeeping, offers suggestions to keep productive throughout the week:
–Spend 10 to 15 minutes to plan and prioritize your tasks for the day.
–Cluster tasks that require similar effort or resources so you’re not switching gears often.
–Designate a time to check e-mails so you’re not easily distracted.
–Take short breaks throughout the day so you remain refreshed.
_ Don’t put off working on unpleasant or overwhelming assignments. Overcome procrastination by breaking a project into smaller tasks.

Tuesday is my deadline day so it happens to be my most productive. Let me know what you think of this study. Has today been your most productive day?

More workplaces kid friendly?

2008-02-25T14:06:00.004-05:00

Good news for working moms and dads. More than three in five companies have made policy changes to better accommodate working parents, according to a recent Office Team survey.

Indeed, 62 percent of employees polled said their company has made changes in workplace policy to better accommodate working parents in the past five years. It's not just the big guys who are making changes. "For smaller firms that may not have as much flexibility in adjusting salaries as larger organizations, offering these types of benefits can level the playing field,” says Diane Domeyer, executive director of OfficeTeam. “

I'm hoping employers continue in this direction. But I think that these policies will be just that -- policies -- as the economy sours and businesses need to do more with less. Do you think businesses will continue to do more to accommodate working parents, or will we go in the opposite direction as business owners feel the heat on their bottom lines?

Is Lipstick Jungle make believe?

2008-02-21T14:25:00.003-05:00

Last Friday, my friend Beth and I had planned to have lunch. But between deadlines and school pick ups, we had a "relaxing" 10 minute lunch together eating takeout in front of a deli. So when I watch the new breed of TV shows (Lipstick Jungle, Cashmere Mafia and Big Shots) they makes me wonder: How do these execs at the top of their game have time to pal around with friends on a regular basis?

Lipstick Jungle, which appears the biggest hit of the bunch, is about three women who have risen to the tops of their chosen professions while remaining good friends/confidantes/advisors. While these shows are supposed to be soapy primetime fun, they spark a certain disbelief about how much time friends get in the work-life balance equation. In Big Shots, the four men run big companies, have spouses or girlfriends, and still have time to pal around on the links or at the sauna a few times a week.

When Nataly at Work it Mom.com asks on her blog how often working moms went out during an average month with friends the answers ranged from not at all to once a week. Which leaves me to wonder, is the Lipstick Jungle make believe? Or are these execs just better at keeping up with friends than most business people trying to do it all?

A year off-- Is it your fantasy?

2008-02-20T11:12:00.006-05:00

Would you completely freak out if you were financially able to take a year off work and do nothing? Does getting out of the rat race for that long scare you about your chances of getting back in? How would you respond if someone asked you what you did for a living?

Yesterday, I chatted with Lynne Wines, CEO the South Florida division of CNL Bank. After a long career as a banker(previously Colonial Bank's president and CEO for commercial banking in South Florida), Wines took 14 months off -- to do nothing. No running from meeting to meeting, no overbooked schedule and mounds of email to clear, no pressing

Wines says it took a while to unwind -- to allow herself to do nothing. She traveled, read books mid-day in a lounge chair in her backyard, did some volunteer work. She says it did feel odd to fill out forms that asked for her profession or respond to the cocktail party question: what do you do? Her answer, "I'm a banker." She took a full year off before she started to job hunt.

Wines, looked relaxed, and has re-entered the workforce (right back at the top) with new enthusiasm. She recommends everyone take a year off if they can swing it: "It's the best gift you can give yourself."

When you need time off

2008-02-19T18:38:00.007-05:00

Let's say you need time off for medical reasons or to take care of grandma. You will need to know about planned changes to the Family & Medical Leave Act of 1993. That's the federal law that provides workers up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave each year to have or adopt a child, recover from a serious illness or care for an immediate family member.

Labor lawyer Mark Zelek at Morgan Lewis& Bockius in Miami, explains the proposed changes to FMLA made by the U.S. Department of Labor on Feb. 11. Labor officials say the regulations, which they want to implement by the end of the year, would make the law more user friendly for companies and employees.
What the changes mean to you depends on whether you’re an employer or an employee.

Workers taking time off (intermittently or irregularly) for a chronic medical condition for the first time will be required to treat an FMLA absence like any other absence from work. In non-emergency situations, advance notice will be required using the company’s normal call-in policies.

Workers who want time off for serious health conditions will need two visits to a health care provider within a month of the condition's onset. Employers will be able to contact medical providers directly to get clarifications and to check the authenticity of the employee’s documentation.

Workers with illnesses lasting an unknown period will have to get medical certification of their condition every year.

Employers will not be able to charge FMLA time to employees who come back to work but can only do "light" duty.

The Labor Dept. must quickly put into effect a new law granting as much as 26 weeks of FMLA leave to care for an injured or ill military member.

Do you think these changes are in your best interest? If you want to give your comments, you have until April 11. The Labor Department hopes to issue final regulations by the end of the year. Submit comments by clicking here.

Democratic congressional leaders oppose regulatory changes to the employee leave law, but it’s not clear whether they will try to block them. To read more, click here.

Are workers stressed to death?

2008-02-19T11:27:00.004-05:00

Scary news: the suicide rate for men and women ages 45 to 54 has risen 20 percent in the last decade, far outpacing changes in nearly every other age group, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

In an article today in the New York Times, health writer Patricia Cohen attempts to figure out why we're seeing this increase in mid-life suicide. She writes: "For health experts, it is like discovering the wreckage of a plane crash without finding the black box that recorded flight data just before the aircraft went down." The guesses range from lack of counseling for this age group to skyrocketing use and abuse of prescription drugs to the growing pressures of modern life.

I spoke about the trend with organization pychologist Ken Siegel. He points out this this age group is in their prime working years. "If suicide is the pinnacle of destructive coping with stress, this study is really alarming.''

What do you think of this trend? Should employers do more to help employees manage stress and depression?

Looking for balancing during a job search

2008-02-18T13:07:00.003-05:00

I am one of those workers who consider work/life balance as important as compensation when considering a job offer. But I had worked a few years before bringing up the topic with my boss. It appears, I'm a dinosaur.

Today, job seekers want to know about work-life balance before they sign on. According to a new Hudson survey, nearly a third (29 percent) of U.S. workers now consider work-life balance and flexibility to be the most important factor in considering job offers.

"Money will always be important to people, but in this age of Internet powered remote access where there are so many virtual options, employees place a much higher premium on flexible work arrangements," said Robert Morgan, co-president of Recruitment and Talent Management, Hudson.

This study also confirmed what most of us know -- the job we fill often differs from the polished version presented during an interview -- especially when there's a promise of flexibility. Hudson found one in five (20 percent) workers said that the position they accepted did not quite match up with the job they heard about during their interview.

Have you brought up the topic of work-life balance during a job interview? What was the reaction?

Two views on who is the boss

2008-02-14T09:59:00.002-05:00

Lots of reaction to an article I wrote yesterday on female high wage earners. Many men whose wife or girlfriend makes more complained that these women don't have mutual respect. They also feel that these women can be overbearing. My editor, Terence Shepherd, feels these men are practically screaming out that their spouse feels she owns them: "Shut up honey and change the baby's diaper, or I'll take the keys to the BMW from you.''

Women responded completely opposite. Some feel that men are too sensitive about earning less. One woman said her boyfriend dumped her because she made twice his salary and he felt emasculated.

I'm left realizing there is a lot of resentment out there. It's only going to get worse unless couples communicate because women are forecasted to outearn their man in half of all households by 2025. Are you in this type of relationship. What do you feel is the key to making it work?

Things to do with wasted time

2008-02-13T13:10:00.002-05:00

I hate to waste time. Last Friday, I sat waiting for the doctor long after I finished reading the newspaper I had brought. I went nuts just sitting there being a time waster. So when I saw some tips in my Inbox from Jason Womack, a motivational coach, I printed them out and decided I will put them to use. And, I will share them with you, with a little of my own ideas included.

Jason writes, "You may not always be able to avoid cancellations, delays and other people running late, but with a bit of preparation, you can get even more done when life doesn't go exactly as planned."

1. Write Cards - Jason says he keeps a few cards with stamped envelopes inside my briefcase. I can write 3 cards on the plane before my flight even takes off! If you're wondering what to write, set your mind on gratitude. (I'm going to keep the cards in my car to use while in carpool lines)

2. Get to know your Gear. Transform your cell phone into a productivity tool that supports you instead of distracts you. Update your phone's contact list by going through the menu of most recent calls. Create speed dials for numbers you use frequently. Add names and numbers from loose business cards you are still carrying around. Learn how to set alarms & timers.
Set unique ring tones for people who call you most often. (I'm going to start by finding my cell phone manual)

3. Keep Learning: Most people believe that learning is what you do in your personal time, and reading during business hours is prohibited. To overcome this stigma, rip out magazine articles and keep a "To Read" folder with you. Keep just the pages you want to read, this cuts down on all of the paperwork you'll carry around.

4. Keep Learning - Part 2: Use your iPod to listen to university courses and business lectures . A few of Jason's favorite podcasts are: POP!Tech, TEDTalks, Harvard's HBR Idea Cast and The Economist. You can access The Miami Herald's weekly business podcast on our webpage.

Who buys the roses on Valentine's Day?

2008-02-12T20:10:00.003-05:00

Who is buying the roses this Valentine's Day? That might be a subject of negotiation in more households this year, especially as more women continue to out-earn their man.

This week, I interviewed about a dozen high-earning women. Here are some of their thoughts on how they make their business and marriages work.

Christina Noelle of MCZ Development, mother of two, travels between Miami and Chicago to oversee operations of her company. Her husband, a salesman, left the workforce -- at least for now -- to care for their young children. Noelle says, she and her longtime husband make it work by being respectful of each other. "You have to talk a lot. None of it is easy. Everything is a negotiaton...who does the laundry, who picks up the kids, who drops off the dry cleaning.''

Julie Neitzel, president of Miami's GenSpring Family Offices: on Valentine's Day married 25 years, had this to say: "You have to be partners, every has to give a little. " Neitzel who at times has had an intense travel schedule says when her husband needs to pick up more he does, when she is in town, she does her share. Neitzel points out that work/life balance is tough for everyone and that at any time, job situations can change. "It's not easy for anyone man or woman these days. You do the best you can and be prepared to regroup."

Here's the link to my TV on appearance, talking about female breadwinners.

A Valentine Tradition: Overhyping Office Romance

2008-02-12T09:50:00.001-05:00

I happened upon a blog this morning that put my thoughts into words.

There are minor workplace issues and there are major workplace issues. And then there are blown-out-of-proportion workplace issues—like romance in the office, a topic that inevitably surfaces around Valentine’s Day. John Hollan writes: I understand the news hook of Valentine’s Day, but really, is this a hot, burning issue for any workplace in America?

Like Hollan, I have received at least a dozen press releases on the latest Valentine’s Day survey, poll or expert advice that is supposed to show why office romances are good, bad or problematic.

Last week, Sue Shellenbarger of The Wall Street Journal told us that the office has replaced college as the top marital hunting ground. Young people are waiting longer to get married and some are meeting their spouses at work. By now, most people know that dating the boss is a bad idea. We don't need cupid to remind us of that. But I don't see dating a colleague as a new and huge workplace problem, do you?

work/balance workshop this week

2008-02-11T12:11:00.000-05:00

Mark your calendars, there is a work/life balance workshop coming up. The National Association of Women Business Owners is hosting a luncheon titled The Art of Balancing for Women: Myth or Reality? The brochure says speaker Dr. Sandra Coiffman-Yohros, a psychologist, will give tips and techniques for managing various worlds more effectively.

The luncheon is Thursday at noon at Courtyard By Marriott at 200 S.E. 2nd Ave. in downtown Miami. (cost is $40 for non-members). RSVP at rsvp@nawbomiami.org. I hope to interview Dr. Coiffman-Yohros for this blog and pass along some tips. Stay tuned.

Where are your kids after school?

2008-02-07T11:11:00.000-05:00

For me, the afternoon hours when my kids get home from school are nuts (and that's with my kids supervised). I shutter when my friends and co-workers tell me how crazy and difficult it can get for teens after school without supervision. That's why I can understand the hysteria about the proposed federal budget cut in funding for afterschool care.

Here is what's going on: This week, President Bush released a budget proposal to cut the popular 21st Century Community Learning Centers initiative from the $1.1 billion to $800 million. The effect is it would deny afterschool programs to some 300,000 students, according to the Afterschool Alliance.

"With millions of children unsupervised after school, funding for these programs should go up, not down, says Jodi Grant, executive director of Afterschool Alliance." If Congress agrees to the President’s devastating proposal, millions of children and families that need quality afterschool programs will lose." To read more about this visit http://www.afterschoolalliance.org/. Do you think there are adequate afterschool programs in your neighborhood?

Layoffs loom, so do new jobs

2008-02-06T11:09:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to get newsletters and press releases predicting mass layoffs in 2008. According to CareerProtection.com, a company that helps employees negotiate severance deals or retirement packages, job cuts by major corporations will accelerate in 2008. The New York-based firm says it “has been inundated this month with telephone calls from employees at Bear Stearns, Chrysler, Citigroup, Covidien Healthcare, Ford, GM, Indy Mac and Sprint Nextel, [which] have announced plans for reductions-in-force in January.”

That's the bad news. But don't feel like you're stuck in your dead-end job with no prospects. Small-business owners are poised to add jobs. According to the Alternative Board, a Westminster, Colorado-based firm that provides advisory services, about 57 percent of the nation’s small businesses plan to hire more people in 2008. Less than 4 percent expect to downsize. Small firms also expect big things in 2008: Nearly 73 percent envision greater profitability, and 61 percent will increase their capital spending. That's good news for South Florida, where our local economy is made up mostly of small business. To read more about this trend in Workforce Management.

Will employers be flexible?

2008-02-05T16:29:00.000-05:00

Remember the days when accounting firms used to be tough places for women to move up and for men to get any kind of flexibility? Today, Grant Thornton, announced it ranked as the top accounting firms for work/life balance in a survey of about 1,200 accounting educators from 173 universities. The firm has formal flexible work arrangements and a workplace culture that encourages them.

Expect more of these formal flexible work policies going forward, says Kathie Lingle, director of the Alliance for Work/Life Progress. Lingle cites three reasons: First, companies offering flex arrangements on an individual basis, run the risk of being accused of favoritism. Second, by having formal policies and tracking who uses them, an organization can measure results. (Are workers as productive?) Third, these formal policies usually are accompanied by training programs and guidelines to make them effective.

Lingle says in recession when there's less money to go around, companies can offer flexiblity which costs them zero but gives them an uptick in morale. Click here to read Kathie's blog.

A Fort Lauderdale law firm, WardKim, recently wrote me on this subject. Here are some ways that partners Jay Kim and Greg Ward say they have made their Fort Lauderdale law firm WardKim more flexible.

Most law firms rigorously pursue hourly billing requirements for attorneys and paralegals. We view our billable structure as goals rather than a requirement.

We recognize that employees have a variety of legitimate reasons for needing personal time. We are generally very accommodating to our employees’ schedules, even when they request last-minute changes.

Most law firms monitor and limit staff usage of the Internet. We expect our employees to exercise good judgment regarding the use of the Internet for personal reasons and don't limit their usuage as long as they do their work.

We decided not to create a calendar of fixed events. Rather, we meet with our team members on a regular basis to discuss what types of office events they would enjoy. Everyone welcomes this spontaneity.

We work hard to ensure our employees are comfortable approaching the senior members of our firm. We back this up by delivering on our promise to keep our minds open and find newer and better ways to run our firm to ensure everyone’s job satisfaction.

"In today’s competitive corporate environment where it’s increasingly difficult to hire and retain high-quality employees, law firms that establish a corporate culture of flexibility will help ensure greater employee satisfaction and position themselves for greater long-term success," says partner Greg Ward.

Ease your morning routine

2008-02-04T13:06:00.000-05:00

Do you feel like you can barely find your shoes in the mornings- let alone pull together a stylish outfit and get out the door fast?

I just read a great book that has helped me with the crazy morning routine of a working mom. It is called Ready To Wear, by Mary Lou Andre, a nationally recognized wardrobe consultant. Mary Lou outlines a five-step approach to re-organizing your entire wardrobe. The biggest tips I gleamed is to organize my closet by outfits (and to shop that way as well). The author even suggests hanging accessories with the outfits in your closet. I started using some of what I learned in the book and has become much easier to bolt out the front door each morning ( and to figure out what items I have nothing to match). Check out Mary Lou's website for some tips and pass along any you have to share.

The future of employee benefits

2008-01-31T14:59:00.000-05:00

Will companies cut their employee benefits as the economy begins to weaken? And, will the trend toward employees paying more of their health care premiums continue? A panel of human resources professionals from top companies such as City Furniture and BankUnited debated these topics at a Watson Wyatt South Florida Employer Briefing at The Miami Herald on Thursday.

Here are the major points

* Companies are tailoring their benefits to their workforce. For example, The Miami Herald employees are under a lot of stress so the company offers onsite chiropractic and chair massages; Vitas Health workers work with dying patients so they offer generous time off for those who need mental health days; City Furniture has its headquarters out in the middle of nowhere so it is building a health clinic incase workers get hurt on the job.

* Employers are not marketing their benefits as if they were consumer products -- too many employees don't understand their benefits or the value of the total package.

* Expect to see a big increase in the use of benefits related to stress and mental illness. Health insurance will increasingly get more costly for workers but companies are making efforts to keep premiums down through disease management.

* Going forward there may be more hybrid retirement savings plans -- 401ks are dropping in value with the stock market. Just when companies want workers to retire, fewer will want to leave.

* The panelists did not feel employers would cut back on benefits if the economy continues to weaken but they do think they will shift which benefits they spend more on.

Battle corporate burnout with spa retreat

2008-01-30T09:48:00.001-05:00

Westglow Resort & Spa has come up with a great marketing piece that grabbed my attention: the ultimate way to battle corporate burnout -- a spa retreat. The resort in Blowing Rock, North Carolina (which just received the distinction of being named the number one Bourtique Spa in the World!) has come up with a four-day package to battle burnout and help you redisover meaning in your work. In between yoga classes, hikes and spa services, are classes in creating balance, time-management and self care. The package has a steep price tag -- $2395 (meals included). Battling burnout isn't cheap, but either is having a breakdown! Do you think companies should pay to send their executives on these type of retreats?

Why not offer good benefits?

2008-01-29T21:24:00.000-05:00

I am really starting to wonder why companies don't offer more benefits. In tough economic times, I can understand why they don't dazzle us with big raises or lure new workers with fat salaries. But some of these benefits that help with work/life balance don't cost much and they really create loyalty.

Take on-site Weight Watchers classes, for example. Most companies -- large and small -- that offer this benefit make the employees pay for the classes. But by offering this convenience, employers score big. I am amazed by what the companies on Fortune's Best Places to Work list offer.

Are there risks? Are companies worried that an employees will twist an ankle during a lunchtime aerobics class? One of my colleagues says yes. But I really don't think that's what is stopping more from offering these perks. My guess is they just haven't put these benefits on their radar. My guess is as money gets tighter, more will expand their low-cost or no-cost offerings. Do you see companies getting more creative? What benefits outside of the basics do you think workers value most?

To see me talking live about benefits on CBS: click here to view.

Benefits or salary?

2008-01-28T11:32:00.000-05:00

Let me start by being realistic. We all want to earn more money. But if that's not going to happen, we at least want some perks. I have just spent two intense months looking at benefits offered by large employers in South Florida. What I discovered is most want desperately to be called "One of the Best Places to Work" Earning that distinction doesn't always cost an employer much. It just requires some open-minded thinking.

We want perks that make our lives easier. And for the most part, companies are starting to react. Here are the four basic areas I address in my reports and the trends in those areas.

* HEALTH CARE --- Employers are desperate to find ways to cut their health care costs. That means making employees pay more of the costs, beefing up wellness and disease management programs. See article.

* RETIREMENT SAVINGS -- Traditional pension is going away. Employers here are offering 401Ks and they are generous with matching workers' contributions. See article.

* VACATION -- Don't expect employers to get more generous with vacation time. Instead they are creating Paid Time Off banks, which benefit workers who had let their sick time go unused. See article

* WORK/LIFE -- Lots of companies are piloting or considering formal flexible work arrangements. This benefit doesn't cost them any dollars and cents and creates good will. See article.

Here's a link to the charts we ran on line that shows how employers stacked up. The ability to work a flex schedule keeps me at my workplace. Let me know what benefits you think are most important.

Should you tell the truth in an evaluation?

2008-01-25T08:59:00.000-05:00

I recently had my annual performance evaluation. I was completely upfront about the demands on my time and the goals I feel I can realistically accomplish in 2008. I was clear that I want to remain a part-time employee.

But in my early days of working part time I went along with my boss' comments on my evaluation that I some day hoped to return to the workforce full time. Motherhood, age, priorities and experience have played into how I now fill out my evaluations and set goals. Which makes me ask: How completely open should be during your performance review? Is it the right time to bring up flexible scheduling and issues you might be having with work/life balance?

My advice: Don't bring up work/life concerns unless you have a plan for how to resolve them.

In a blog posting by Leslie Morgan Steiner she asks:What has surprised you the most about your work-life challenges and the solutions you've found? What advice or guidance would you give if you could go back in time for a little chat with your pre-parent self?

I would tell my pre-parent self it's okay to have a career part-time and to show my supervisors during reviews that I can do this and still be productive. In my early days of being a part-time worker, I tried to do a full-time job in half the time and led my bosses to think my part-time status was a temporary arrangement. It has taken about a decade for work and life to fall into place -- and it is a constant struggle to balance competing demands.

What guidance would you give your pre-parent self? Do you feel performance reviews are the time to bring up work/life issues?

Busy moms often eat poorly

2008-01-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

It's true. Most working mothers spend so much time working about what our kids eat but we don't eat well ourselves. No matter how hard we try, our bodies never look as svelte as they did before kids. Two reasons according to an article I just read on this subject: hormonal changes and poor eating habits coupled with inadequate physical activity. (And then there's the little issue of snacking off our kids plates)

Apparently, working mothers claim that one of the biggest obstacles to healthy food preparation is lack of time. If you are like me and resolved to be healthier in 2008, here are tips from the previously referenced article with a little of my own suggestions:

1. Keep as much junk food out of the house as possible. And, if you do bring it in, put it out of sight.

2. Keep the healthy stuff in view. I just bought a crate of clementines and put them in a bowl in my kitchen. They've become my new favorite snack food.

3. Make lunch the biggest meal of the day. (I'm trying to eat more giant salads at lunch!)

4. Limit-stress inducing eating. Easier to say than to do. I'm trying to keep baby carrots on my desk for those stressful days. And, I'm going to try to get up from my desk and stretch instead of nibbling on chocolate.

5. Don't eat anything you wouldn't feed your child. (You would want your kid to have vegies with his meal, wouldn't you?)

6. Don't starve yourself. Also, the longer you go without food, the more likely you'll be to reach for junk once hunger gets the better of you. We certainly didn't put on our "baby weight" overnight, and it can't come off that quickly either.

7. Designate a food prep day. Pick one day for both grocery shopping and preparing foods so that they will be accessible later in the week. When you return from the store, wash and chop vegetables such as carrots and broccoli, throw the lettuce in the salad spinner, boil noodles, bake potatoes in the microwave, and even cook several boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I just read about a couple who cooks four breasts at a time and tosses them in salads, pastas and soups during the week.

8. Keep it simple. One-pot meals are easy and can be healthy. (I just bought a book of recipes with Campbell's Soup -- hearty, healthy, one-pot dishes.)

Let me know if you have tips to share!

Should children babysit children?

2008-01-21T11:14:00.000-05:00

For me, there is nothing more troubling than the case of the 12-year old child who is accused of killing 17-month old Shaloh Joseph. The child had to baby-sit both the toddler and his 10-year old brother for about 12 hours each day while his mother and the toddler's parents went to work during the winter break from school. He became annoyed with her and may have killed her by using a bat on her head. Now, as Miami Herald articles have detailed, the boy could be prosecuted as an adult.

As a working parent, I know firsthand the battle to keep our kids occupied and safe while we're at our jobs on those days off from school. For some, adequate and affordable child care feels so out of reach. And too often, in my job I have interviewed parents who admit to leaving kids home alone during breaks from school.

Whose fault is it that this child didn't have the maturity to handle the situation he was put in? We need to look at the child care system we have in place, educate parents on their alternatives and give them more affordable options. Should children babysit other children? At what age is it okay?

I bet there are lots of kids home alone today on a school holiday while their parents are at work. Will parents continue to feel they have no alternatives to leaving their children home alone on days off? Do you feel employers are doing enough to acknowledge these child care concerns?

Death of a woman CEO

2008-01-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

In case you missed it, The Miami Herald ran an obituary on the death of Cinda Hallman. I always found her story a sad tale about Corporate America and work/life balance. Hallman gave work her all. She lived and breathed work and proved herself a strong leader. She accomplished what only a handful of women have been able to do -- become CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Hallman looked the part of a CEO and advocated for the advancement of women. Yet, she had little balance in her life -- no significant other, no children. She was hard at work leading Spherion to new heights and holding a board seat at Toys R Us when one day she fainted at work and had to be taken away in an ambulance.

It turned out, she had a brain tumor. (Although her exact illness was never publicly disclosed) Before long, Spherion replaced her with a qualified man. Corporate boards no longer had interest in Hallman because her thinking was affected by her illness. And so, on this past Christmas Eve, Hallman passed away at age 63. It must have been difficult for Hallman at the end of her life. Work friends are quick to move on. I had heard she tried to reenter her corporate circles but was never really accepted again. I had wanted to interview Hallman about her life, her success, her regrets but I never got around it. I'm left to wonder what she would say about her choices in life. I'm left thinking about her as I make my choices.

Finding Day Care -- for your parents

2008-01-14T10:28:00.000-05:00

For a short spell, I had to worry about taking care of my now-retired mother who wasn't well and my children. Although my mom is back on her feet, I foresee the day when it will be an issue again.

That's why I found an article this weekend in The Wall Street Journal of interest. The article says as baby boomers seek quality care for frail parents unable to stay at home alone, they are looking for relief from day-care centers. These centers work like child-care facilities. You drop your relative off in the morning and pick them up after work. The advantage: they are more reliable and stimulating than hiring a home health-care aide. Another plus: A pilot program allows a portion of Medicare home health-care benefits to go toward adult day care. So far, enrollment growth has been robust, the article claims. The cost is about $60 a day.

To find a center: Ask for a list from your local Alzheimer support groups or local agencies on aging.

This is an option I had never considered. If you have tried it, let me know how it turned out for you.

Working parents and My Space

2008-01-11T09:37:00.000-05:00

As a working parent, one of the biggest challenges I face is supervising my children's computer and video game usage -- particularly when I'm at work.

I haven't faced the My Space requests -- yet --- but I know they are coming. For now, just controlling who my kids are talking to on Instant Messaging is a chore. I have asked the babysitter to limit their leisure computer time to one hour in the afternoons and I insist on peeking at the screen every once in a while when I come home and they are instant message. Still, maintaining control isn't easy and my kids aren't always forthcoming when I question them about their online conversations or try to look over their shoulder. I really enjoyed a column by Ralph De La Cruz debating whether to allow his son to get a My Space page.

Recently, I have had co-workers complain to me about their teens' grades slipping because they are unsupervised after school and spend too much time playing video games instead of doing homework.

I'm curious about your experiences. Do you have any rules for use of technology while you are at work? What about when you are at home? Do your kids resent when you get home from work and try to put an end to their video game playing or computer use?

Teen moms asking for maternity leave

2008-01-08T10:42:00.000-05:00

Time to weigh in on the national stir caused by pregnant students in a Denver high school who are asking the school board for at least four weeks of maternity leave so they can heal, bond with their newborns and not be penalized with unexcused absences, according to an article in The Denver Post. Denver has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the state.

The stir began when counselors from East High School approached the school board saying the policy at their school is unfair because it forces new moms to return to school the day after being discharged from the hospital or face being charged with unexcused absences. District officials are reviewing the policy, which currently allows schools to set their own rules.

I'm torn. Returning to school the day after giving birth is physically impossible. That's why employers give maternity leave. There is a whole Family Leave Act that Congress passed to allow mothers to stay home to care for their baby. Shouldn't teen mothers also be covered by this?

But then these girls are irresponsibly having unprotected sex and getting pregnant. Should they be rewarded with four weeks maternity leave? This could possibly create more unwanted pregnancies because girls are trying to get out of school.

One blogger writes: Its a no win situation, but a real problem that at least is being addressed.

It's a controversial topic with no easy answer. What are your feelings?

Blog Party

2008-01-08T10:04:00.000-05:00

Is your company blogging? Are you? Lots of people feel they just don't have time to blog.

But the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) insists it is crucial to blog in today's business world. (A public relations must!) So the group is throwing a blogging party Thursday night, Jan. 10 from 5-7 p.m. at Biscayne Centre in North Miami.

Tech experts at the state-wide “blogging party” will teach women entrepreneurs all over Florida how to create an association “blog” for their NAWBO chapters and one for their own businesses at the same time.

Sounds to me like an event worth attending. To register, click here.

Sticking with your New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-02T12:36:00.000-05:00

This morning I appeared on our local CBS affiliate to talk about the Miami Herald article I wrote yesterday, which gave tips for sticking with your New Year's resolutions.

Here's a link to this morning's TV segment: http://cbs4.com/video/?id=45638@wfor.dayport.com

One of the best tips give to me came from Toni Negas, director of marketing for Lady of America. She discovered most loyal exercisers have gained support from a friend, family member or coworker who encourages or joins them in their routine. Negan herself has a gym buddy she works out with. ``Many days when I want to skip it, she reminds me of the reasons why I should go.''

Do you have someone to support you in your resolution? A co-worker? A spouse? It could make all the difference for you this year.

Remember the life side of work/life balance

2007-12-31T12:35:00.000-05:00

With the kids off school and most of working America in vacation mode, it's the first time in months I have truly enjoyed the life side of work/life balance.

No deadlines. No school projects. No soccer games. No hurriedly prepared dinners. For the last week, my family doesn't have a schedule and we actually have to time have fun. How rare has it become for most American workers to truly have time for fun? I, for one, want more fun.

For the new year, I'm following an action plan I found on a website called coping.org. It suggests we keep a list of fun activities and write down with whom we want to do them. Make sure to include a few that don't require a lot of time or money. I'm putting eating pizza on the beach at least one evening a month on my list. What are you putting on yours?

Work/life balance in the new year

2007-12-28T09:25:00.000-05:00

I'm supposed to work a part-time schedule. But with so much change in my industry, it's getting much harder to keep my work hours from stretching later each day. Full time workers in most industries also tell me they find their work hours getting longer. I just read that 50 percent of Americans will vow better work/life balance in the new year. I myself vow to strive for work/life balance, even as I take on new challenges at work.

So how do all of us make this resolution stick? Here are some tips that I plan to try:

* Take advantage of the benefits your company offers. “More companies are devising ways to help their employees achieve a healthy work-life balance, from telecommuting, to on-site fitness programs and more. Take advantage of these programs and if necessary talk with your employer to tailor these benefits for you.

* Set the Bar Appropriately – A goal that looks intimating from the start will probably never be accomplished. Instead of planning to never work on vacation, set a resolution to limit the time spent checking email to 15 minutes per day.

* Make Daily Reminders – Jot down your daily successes and failures; use failures as suggestions for improvement. I think this will help me feel like I accomplish something even on a part-time schedule.

For more tips on workplace goals, check out Beyond.com.

Christmas Eve, are you working?

2007-12-24T13:01:00.000-05:00

I'm at work on Christmas Eve and I've discovered it's a great day to be at the office. I am spending more on a babysitter than I am earning today but I am getting a lot done. It's quiet. There are no phone interruptions. Everyone who is here is in a good mood. We're not in the malls and we're feeling so productive.

The best part is that I've come across a great blog just as I'm forming my must-do list for 2008. Check out the list of 50 Nerdy Things To Do Before You Die. (I particularly like number 16. But I’m still laughing over number 5 and 6.) Merry Christmas!

Holiday tip

2007-12-20T12:11:00.000-05:00

I want to pass on a great tip from a professional organizer/time management expert: "For a clutter free holiday just remember: If you don’t know what you are going to use it for and where you are going to put it, don’t buy it!"
This comes from Diane Hatcher is the author of Don't Agonize, Organize Your Office Now! and owner of Time-Savers Professional Organizing Services, Inc.

Gender Gap and the holidays

2007-12-19T10:34:00.000-05:00

What a great crack up piece by Dave Barry today about the gender gap during the holidays. Dave insists women complain about all the stuff they have to do and claims they inflict stress on themselves that men just don't have.

"On any given day during the holidays, my wife wraps more presents than I have wrapped in my entire life." As a wife, I must say Dave makes a valid point.

We do inflict stress on ourselves -- it's part of the insane notion that we must do it all --- PERFECTLY. Let's face it, how many men really care about buying presents for their child's teacher and wrapping it with sparkly bows.

I enjoy complaining to my husband about how much is on my to-do list. Most women do. So just go along with our insanity. Tell us how great we are for "doing it all" We're not blaming you for what you don't do, we're seeking some appreciation!

Covering up for a sick kid

2007-12-18T10:32:00.001-05:00

A working mother myself, I spot the signs of other working moms desperately trying to keep their kid's child care routine in place -- even if they come down with a little bug of some sort.

Last night, a friend insisted her child had recovered from his sore throat and fever and was feeling better. That miraculous recovery will allow him to come to my house after school today, allowing her to work later. As much as I wanted to poke holes in her logic, I have to confess, I've been there!

I have friends that will outright admit to hiding their kids cold symptoms by giving their kid decongestant and sending them to school.

That's why I found an entry in the working moms against guilt blog so interesting. The author works from home and makes her own hours -- a working mother's dream job. A few weeks ago, her daughter came down with pinkeye and had to be taken out of preschool and the sitter's for a couple of days. Right around this time, mom also came up against a tight client deadline. She found her ability to work evenings and naptimes allowed her to meet the deadline (and do it well) while staying home with her daughter.

Few women have that flexibility or control over their work situation. But most of us want it. It makes me wonder why more companies don't realize allowing an employee to work from home when needed makes a BIG difference. Do you think we're making any progress in this area?

No party? How old is boss?

2007-12-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

Saturday night I went to an office holiday party. It was well attended and a lot of fun. On the way home, my husband noted that as much as employees complain, they like and expect a holiday celebration.

I found it interesting when I read an article this morning that said baby boomers -- the group that is graying and most often in charge -- are the bosses least likely to throw a holiday party, according to a newly released survey by American Express. One consultant said boomers are just fed up with people coming to the party and complaining. Younger bosses are more likely to consider bonuses this year, according to the survey.

According to a poll of large companies, only 85 percent are throwing parties this year -- the third lowest rate of business parties in the 19 years that Battalia Winston International has been conducting the survey.

At the party this weekend, a group of us were discussing how nice it would be to get a bonus instead of a party. But my husband insisted that although his company gives bonuses, employees still want and expect some type of party.

If your boss decided against a party this year, let me hear from you. Was it okay with you? Would you rather have cash or a gift than a holiday party?

Why do employees leave? Stress.

2007-12-13T14:06:00.000-05:00

Stress is the number one reason workers quit, says a new study by Watson Wyatt. But it's not even on the list of the top five reasons employers give for losing workers. Does that surprise you?

What's even more interesting is that very few employers offer stress management programs. Kathie Lingle, director of WorldAtWork says, "It would make business sense for employers to start offering them, but they need to go beyond yoga and massage to actually delve into work processes and culture to figure out potential causes of pressure."

What's causing worker stress? Kathy thinks it may be lack of supervisor support, inadequate feedback and workload or scheduling issues. So the question today is, "What's causing your stress at work?'' and "Does your boss have a clue?"

My neighbor left his high powered job a year ago, and still hasn't returned to the workforce. I see him shuttling kids around, puttering in his yard, and looking much younger for his age than most working men. Not sure how he's making ends meet but he sure looks good.

This mom hates science projects

2007-12-12T09:05:00.001-05:00

The bags under my eyes today are a result of my daughter's science project. By the time our kids reach middle school, most parents have realized our children's science projects become a huge item on our to-do list. There's no way around it. The web is filled with frantic moms looking for tips, advice, ideas and help with their kids science projects. Do teachers realize this?

In my house, the scramble to buy materials and see these projects to fruition, while trying to do my outside-the-home job, has led to lack of sleep and arguments. But I know I'm not alone. For most parents, science projects are a nightmare. I've bumped into lots of worn out working parents over the last few weeks in Michael's at night buying supplies and cursing both their kids and the teachers who assign these projects. I have come to realize my negotiation skills and creativity help somewhat to prepare me for surviving these projects -- but not enough!

I'm amazed at how many "how to" websites there are about science project aimed at parents. (Here's a good one, by the way, just click) I'm rethinking the gifts I give my friends when they give birth. Forget the Dr. Spock book. I think a guide to surviving science projects would make a much better gift. Do you agree? Have any of you found a magic formula for balancing work and your child's science project?

Win or sleep?

2007-12-11T10:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, one of the nation's top trial lawyers visited with our business staff at The Miami Herald. He gave us a glimpse into his work/life balance and his expectations for others at his firm.

What amused us is the mantra Boies poses his legal team during a trial: Do you want to win or do you want to sleep?

Boies, knows young associates want more flexibility and work/life balance. But he says his law firm, Boies, Schiller & Flexner, just can't give it to them. During trial there are times his legal team is expected to work intensely for 70 hours a week or more until the trial is over. For Boies there's only one answer to the win or sleep question? "Losing really sucks,'' Boies said.

Boies, known best for his representation of Al Gore during the Florida election recount, goes to bed at 10 p.m. and wakes up at 6 a.m. to ensure he's well rested and quick on his feet in front of a jury. Although Boies works through weekends and concentrates intensely on his case until his trial ends, he says, afterward he'll usually turn off his phone and take some time off to travel -- if he doesn't have another trial. Next year, he has four big trials on his agenda.

Boies says he doesn't knock the lawyers that want 9 to 5 jobs. "But you can't try big , important, life-changing cases unless there are periods when you can work intensely."

I bet there are others in a variety of professions who live by Boies' win or sleep mantra. Do you?

Saturday Night Fever, 30 years later

2007-12-10T09:52:00.001-05:00

I was in middle school when Saturday Night Fever became a break out hit. It ignited a craze for dancing and music, made John Travolta a huge sensation, and holds a memorable place in history for me and lots of others. But an article than ran in my paper this weekend made me think about the movie differently.

Have you ever really thought about the movie's message? The article suggests that Saturday Night Fever is as relevant as ever and deems it a serous portrait of American life. Just like Tony Manero (a young working class ethnic) who was determined to dance himself out of a dead end job ( he worked at a paint store), so is most of America -- 30 years later. In the movie, disco dancing was Tony's escape from his bleak world. Today, we have American Idol, America's Got Talent and So You Think You Can Dance. We have TV bachelorettes and apprentices.

The article's author, Bruce Schulman, calls the movie -- a road map to income inequality, ethnic racial politics and the lure of celebrity. He says we should heed the lessons of the young man in polyester.

I look around my community and I see those same concerns. We're a community of low-wage workers in dead-end jobs who struggle to be middle class. And while our melting pot of residents try to balance work and life, pay health care costs and rising gas prices, they too dream of a big break. But the reality is, like Tony, we're all just working on Stayin Alive.

Working from home, successfully?

2007-12-06T11:23:00.000-05:00

Today I am working from home. As much as I try to concentrate on writing, out of the corner of my eye, I see laundry that needs to be folded, mail that needs to be sorted and gifts that need to be wrapped. It's making me anxious. I think that's why I go to the office most days, even when I could work from home.

I wonder how so many people successfully work from home full time. It may be that I'm at a disadvantage because my home office is a desk in my bedroom. But in looking at some other blogs, I've discovered there are many entrepreneurs out there who are doing this work from home thing and making good money. I particularly like the entry on a work from home blog I discovered about making income from blogging, turning hobbies into profit, and even writing ebooks for profit.

If you goal in the new year is to shed corporate life to earn money from the comfort of home (and maybe even tackle your laundry on your lunch break), I say go for it. What's stopping you? Just watch out for work at home scams.

Working parents beware of January

2007-12-05T12:03:00.000-05:00

Don't get me wrong, I love vacation days with my kids. And I realize that school is not meant to be daycare. But if you've looked at the Miami-Dade and Broward public school calendar for January, it's downright frightening and a threat to our work/life balance. Here's a link to the calendar.
What you should know is that your kids will have eight days off in January. (8 days!) For parents who work full-time, it can be tough to find short-term supervision for school-age children. And, older children will argue to be left home alone, which sometimes can really disrupt your workday.
Even though my employer usually has on-site holiday camps, most don't. It may be difficult to take time off so early in the year, especially when you've just taken holiday vacation. This is the time to befriend a non-working mom and cut a deal. Or work out an arrangement with your spouse to each take some time off. I've noticed some after-care providers at the public schools are offering special camps. How do you manage your kids time off, when you don't have any?

New babysitter site, got to love it!

2007-12-04T11:28:00.001-05:00

I just received a press release today and had to share it with anyone with kids who is struggling for work/life balance.
I can't vouch for this site but I love the concept. Here's what the release says: Care.com is the new go-to site for all things child care!
It's a new website that provides city-by-city care services (from babysitters to tutors to pet sitters) by zip code, making it easier than ever for families to find child care help. Apparently, the site operators conduct background checks so parents can feel confident in their child care choices.
The release says it's free for child care providers and babysitters to be part of the directory. And featured child care providers within the site provide additional information ranging from qualifications and certifications to current availability and rates.
I checked it for babysitters in my zip code and brought up about a dozen women ages 20 to 55. Most looked like they had babysitting experience. Looks like this site might be a real life saver!

Giving without going broke

2007-12-04T10:54:00.000-05:00

It's a classic office etiquette dilemma: to give or not to give a gift to the boss, a co-worker, a helpful receptionist. On one hand, this is a great time to score points. On the other hand, you really don't want to go broke, especially when you have family gifts to buy.
Remember, the most important thing is to make your co-worker, boss , assistant feel special or appreciated. And that doesn't necessarily require a lot of money.
* This may sound corny but I tried it and it works: bake something, or have a friend bake something -- present it during that 3 o'clock lull when everyone needs a sugar rush. My specialty is chocolate covered pretzels, always a hit!
* While a gift certificate to a restaurant is nice, words go a long way. A card with a personal note will be the part of they gift they most appreciate.
* Order lunch in, your treat. (Their favorite food) It says something about the effort you make for them.
* Consider going in as a group for the boss' gift. Pass an envelope around with a note about what the money will be used for and everyone chips in what they want. No need to embarrass that co-worker trying to pay off a student loan by requiring a specific donation.
* For anyone you work with a gadget, paperweight, calendar, picture frame, pen and pencil set, or book are useful low cost gifts.

What if you receive an unforeseen gift? Do you reciprocate? " There are several viewpoints on this:
I think you could," says Deborah Brown-Volkman, a career coach in East Moriches, N.Y., and author of the forthcoming book "How to Feel Great at Work Everyday."
Dr. Randall Hansen , Founder of Quintessential Careers, writes: "Don't feel pressure to run out and buy a gift for the boss or a co-worker if he or she gives you one. But do send a thank-you note acknowledging the gift and expressing your gratitude.

Definition of sick day?

2007-12-03T10:01:00.001-05:00

You're feeling kind of spent this time of year. Maybe you need a day off to put your house in order. Must you be sick to take a sick day?
Experts say it depends on who you work for and how they view sick time. Workplace author Carrie Mason-Draffen says because federal laws don't require sick days, individual companies set their own policies.
*Some companies will fire you for calling in sick and then being spotted in a shopping mall or at a baseball game. They expect you to use your sick days only when you are too sick to work.
* Some companies have given up trying to police employees' use of sick time. They are generous with their sick policies and consider sick days as flexible time to use for personal needs.
* Some companies even make you forfeit your sick days if you don't use them. But remember excellent attendance and honesty may be rewarded with promotions and wage increases.
Bottom line, be smart when calling in sick and think about how you boss or customer is going to react!

Holiday shopping at work, employers are watching

2007-11-30T09:17:00.000-05:00

We spend so much time at work these days, who can't resist sneaking some holiday shopping in from the comforts of our desktop? (During lunch hour and break time of course)

As online shopping kicks into high gear for the holidays, a new CareerBuilder survey reveals how much time workers spend online holiday shopping and how many employers monitor online activity.
Key findings include:
--30% of workers holiday shop online at work
--Half of employers monitor workers' online activities
--71% of hiring managers say Internet use at work for non-work related
activities negatively impacts productivity,

--Nearly a quarter (24 percent) of workers who holiday shop online
expect to spend two or more hours doing so this year.

It appears bosses understand our work/life struggles this time of year. "Employers tend to be more lenient around the holidays – in fact only two
percent say they have fired an employee for holiday shopping online," said
Rosemary Haefner, Vice President of Human Resources at CareerBuilder.com.

Tips for Navigating the Office Holiday Party

2007-11-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

My co-workers and I had a great laugh yesterday when we read aloud these tips for navigating the office holiday party. We particularly enjoyed the top two tips. Enjoy!

Tis the Season to Avoid Making a Fool of Yourself at the Office Holiday Party
by Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen, the authors of Office Mate

1. Don't indicate your interest in a colleague at the office Holiday party.
An average happy hour on an average Friday night when the work gang heads to a bar together is a much better time. The entire firm isn't present. And if you're rejected, you can leave.
2. That goes double for your boss. No, triple.
Your boss is there to relax with colleagues, not fend off requests for raises or juicy assignments or-heaven forbid-advances from a subordinate who has decided the time is right to reveal a long-simmering crush.
3. Don't dress sexy.
There's no conceivable benefit to showing more flesh than you would on any other day. Dress up; don't wear a neckline that's, well, down.
4. Know your booze limit.
Getting looped at the office Holiday party lends itself to certain behaviors. Meaning misbehaviors. Who wants to worry about what people are thinking come Monday morning?
5. Don't view the office Holiday party as a free date with your office mate.
If you're dating someone at the office, don't take the holiday party as an opportunity to go out on the town together for free. Talk to your colleagues. Smile at your boss. Make small conversation. Don't dance together.
6. No PDA on the dance floor.
Making out in full view of your colleagues and your boss is too juvenile for words. Don't go there.
7. Mingle with people other than the members of your usual office gang.
If there is one professional or personal objective you can accomplish at the office holiday party, it's to take advantage of the opportunity to chat with someone new. Maybe you'll meet a future partner. At the very least, you'll expand your professional network.
8. Don't go home with a co-worker.
Your career is at stake here. The office is a great place to meet your partner in life. Not a sex partner of the one-night variety.
9. Remember that you are still at work even though the scenery has changed. Act like the professional you are and be on your best behavior. The office Holiday party is no less a work event than the meeting you attended at 3pm.
10. Don't be the last one to leave. Be an adult. Dress beautifully but demurely, stop drinking after you've downed half of whatever someone hands you when you walk in the door. Don't close down the place.