The life of a divorced dad

Growing up in a divorced family, I never remember my dad worrying about balancing his job and his children. My dad would take us on visitations every other weekend. My mom, the primary caregiver, constantly struggled with holding a job and dealing with the daily emergencies that arise with three kids. As a grew older, my siblings and I never felt felt like our father was integrated in our lives.
This week, in honor of Father's Day, I am writing about divorced men who have joint custody. Viewing the balance issue from their perspective has been enlightening. It appears much more difficult for men to ask for flexibility from employers and the risks are higher. Men, it seems, have to build support teams to make these joint custody arrangements work. But, they say, the payoff is worth it. I love this quote from a father I interviewed this morning who has joint custody and has worked hard with his ex-wife and employer to have his kids live with him half the time: "I feel like major player in bringing up my kids versus an observer. I wouldn't be as involved in my kids lives if I was seeing it from a distance.''