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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Negotiating at home

The Miami Heat playoffs are exhausting me. My husband has discovered it is a great way to avoid helping out with the kids' bedtime routine. By the time I get all three into bed by myself, I'm so tired that I can't enjoy the game.
This morning, I stumbled across a bit of advice that makes sense: "Rather than focusing blame on our partners for not helping out, we need to learn how to negotiate with them and turn the situation around in our favor."
So what's the secret to negotiation?
Author Maria Marin says, "Those who ask for more always get more."
Her example, If you want your partner to do the dishes don't just ask for that. Say something like, "Listen. Tomorrow you need to get up at 6:30 a.m. to organize the garage, mow the lawn, vacuum, and wash the cars. Then, in the afternoon, go to my mother's house to take her shopping and out to dinner."
When your partner responds "Are you crazy?"
Your comeback, "Well, if you don't want to do all of that tomorrow, then tonight, please, do the dishes."
In life, as in business, people will always give you less than what you ask for -- so ask for more, Marin advises. I'm going to try it. Go Miami Heat!

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