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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Working mom guilt

In my Balancing Act column tomorrow, I will have a Q & A with Tori Johnson, CEO of Women For Hire and workplace contributor to Good Morning America. Tori is originally from Miami Beach and now lives in New York. She's a mother of twin 8-year-olds. Tori has been working to help women gain control over their work/life balance. She has great tips for negotiating flexible schedules and for finding legitimate work at home jobs. One of my favorite advice columns by Tori is her advice for working mom guilt, that sinking feeling moms get when they travel and miss out on special moments. And, as the holidays approach, you just might have to miss the holiday show.
Her advice: "Sometimes it's just not possible to attend a school function. I try other backup options to avoid missing my kids in action, but I'm a firm believer that no play or performance is worth risking your job over.
Tori suggests these simple solutions for keeping your kids content:
* Talk to the teacher about attending a dress rehearsal instead of the official performance or ask a family member, friend or fellow class parent to videotape the performance for you.
* Don't show your guilt. If missing out on a school event is inevitable, I suggest not drawing too much attention to your absence. Making a big deal out of it leads the children to think there's something bad or wrong with mom not being there, which isn't true.
* Give your boss as much notice as possible to ask for a few hours off or a personal vacation day. Sometimes there are must-attend functions.
For more advice and career strategies, visit


Blogger Devra said...

We hope the media continues to give Mommy Guilt the attention it deserves, but we also hope that solutions to this universal emotion of motherhood are offered. The three Tori has offered up are great, but we need to keep this conversation going for dads too. Everyone who works and takes care of others need flexibility and a corporate culture that values employees enough to give them the time they need to take care of their caregiving responsibilities.

Our research indicates employment status does not dictate the level of a mom's guilt-o-meter. Moms feel Mommy Guilt regardless of employment status. So the Mommy War thing? That is bunk. It only serves to distract us all from the real issues, which are we as a society work too many hours and need more sleep too!

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Bill Dueease said...

I do not know if this is proper or not, but I have addressed the case for motherhood being the most important profession in the world, how the motherhood profession is very unique, and how mothers can enter the workplace when the time is right on their own terms to still remain the successful mother they will always be and succeed at their secondary non conflicting career.

I have hired many mothers to great successes and I am a father. My recent blog at discusses all of these points and what mothers can do to create the careers they want without guilt. If posting this blog address on your site is not correct or acceptable, I understand, however you asked for comments about the subject and that is what I am doing. The blog address is


Bill Dueease

9:05 PM  

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